My blood type is A- and I think that reflects the type of person I am. For instance, I get A-’s in classes where the professors know that I am exemplifying my intellect, but I am not putting forth that extraness they know that I am capable of. This is to the chagrin of my greatest mentors. I wish I could fulfill a redemptive un-shaming of my ego, yet I continue on this character given it is within my blood. I think if I cared more about things, then I would be A+ which I do not even think I can accept that blood. What am I even trying to say? Well, I think it’s interesting because I feel I have been given the choice between two very simple options, A or minus, of which are inseparable, united into one by my own being, thus giving me the power to show the world which one I need more. Alas, the inseparability of the two has proven a solemn task, one I daren’t take lightly as I carry this funny little character of mine. As I contemplate between being lazy as fuck and working out, I end up just staring while some distraction blares over cheaper speakers than those I see on our wonderful streams. The pushing out of that which is internal and wants to bring forth angelic reckoning to whatever extent is beautifully mine, yet I sour it with unknown feelings that wish to wash away happiness towards my own self. This anti-bargaining is self defeating, yet I carry my blood not unlike Jesus dared(?) to carry a cross for all to question into eternity.
Tag: school
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Feb 16th 10:19
watching 30 for 30 movies about big times athlete’s whose careers were devastated and even ended because of drug use. Marion Jones was an Olympic track runner who used steroids during her time at the events and she totally crushed the games. She was crazy famous for her next level Olympic feats. I researched her a little bit and it turns out she had a husband (ex) and boyfriend who both had been found guilty of using illegal performance enhancing drugs under the same coach she had. Before then, she even had a fuck up moment in 96 in high school for missing a drug test . Let me tell you people are so conniving. Knowing about this, it’s like, who else do we not know about that takes ‘roids and whatever else?? Probably all of them is my guess. One would like to believe that it’s all pure and drug free so it’s a level playing field based solely on preparation for the sport. That type of stuff really makes me think about lying and cheating in the world beyond sports. There are so many untold truths and so many unsuspecting victims of lies and lost opportunities for people who have never cheated. But is that what it takes for human progression to happen? A constant battle between those who carry the truth and those who decide to lie. I try not to lie too much. Sometimes I’ll tell silly little lies that’ll virtually seem to have no influence on anyone’s day. But sometimes, I lie to those who are even the closest to me which is so untrustworthy and unhealthy for my inner core. It’s tough when the constant honest temptations get to your soul and heart. They hide behind the eternal blanket of not coming to terms with those who would be interested in knowing of those temptations, especially if it affects them and their personal being. Those around you truly take automatic responsibility for prying the truth out of you on a regular basis, and without even realizing it, you do too. We honestly live for other humans. If there weren’t others, we wouldn’t know why we live. We have passions that are all intertwined within our inner being, our DNA. We cannot hold back on them. We gotta be honest with ourselves. We must pursue our personal truths throughout our personal journeys but must never let go of our respect for how those whom we live for feel about us. If you live to make those who you care about happy.
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