Tag: love

  • • Moments of kindness Rejected 

    Pity craved • WARRiOR • GoD

    • Pain • Townsquare • Treasure • Gesturing • Sarcasm • Realism • Annoyance • Family Suicide • Chip off the old block • Thanks for coming MONEY • Diamond pinky rings • FAt MAN • Clues • Senior Vice President at an investment firm • So much exploration 

    November” (11/2/21)i

    You only go through this moment once -> give those people appreciation genuine flattery from the heart • What does your heart tell you to do? 

    Elegant pondering

    “Not everything that is faced can be changed, But nothing can be changed until it is FACED” – James Baldwin 

    4 billion years ago -> life 𖦹

    CRUDE copies of themselves • Natural selection -> 1st coherently described by Charles Darwin, is an instrument of such enormous POWER, that from such modest beginnings, there can emerge all the richness & beauty of the biological WORLD • CARL SAGAN 

    Molecules based on carbon • Amino Acids • Molecules • From? Complex organic molecules

    •Soul•” (11/2/21)

    Improvise, Adapt, overcome Work -> My work -> intellectual Copyright

    ∘))—> Ugly when you get into the money of it 

    Get Rich & Rock the ⦅WORLD⦆ SOURCE of MUSiC

    Rosebud ∘ The Greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t EXiSt. 

    Two types of people, those w/ loaded guns and those who dig Ask yourself one question, do I feel lucky? Well do yah punk?

    Robin Williams” 

    All those moments will be lost in time, like teardrops in the rain GOOD MORNING Vietnam I love the smell of napalm in the morning 

    I feel the need the need for Speed ∘ Roads ? Where we’re going ; we don’t need roads ∘ We don’t have no barges, I don’t have to show you any stinkin’ BARGES 

    You make me want to be a better man ∘ Nobody puts the baby in the corner I wish I knew how to quit you Love means never having to say you’re sorry
    Autumn” (11/2/21)

    Here’s looking at you, kid ∘ I’ve always depended on the kindness . . . of strangers ∘ Ready for my closeup ∘ Would you be shocked if I put on something more comfortable ∘ You know how to whistle, don’t you? You just put your lips together and BLoW ∘ I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way ∘ You’re trying to seduce me ∘ As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster ∘ Say hello to my lil friend 

    Godfather” (11/2/21)

    I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse ∘ keep your friends close but your enemies closer ∘ BATMAN ∘ SPARTACUS ∘ James Bond ∘ The power of CHrist compels you ∘ It’s Alive ∘ You never know what you’re gonna get ∘ Life moves pretty fast, you don’t stop to look around every once in a while, you could miss it ∘ Get busy living, or get busy dying 

    Fortitude ⬡” (11/2/21)

    If you build it, he will come ∘ That’ll do pig ∘ What we got here, is failure to communicate ∘ you talkin’ to me? ∘ You can’t fight in here, this is the war ∘ ∘∘~

    Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. ∘ Show me the money ∘ The snozzberries taste like snozzberries ∘ Alright alright alright ∘ I’ll be back ∘ It wasn’t the airplanes, it was beauty who killed the beast 

    Rocketship ⚛” (11/2/21)

    I could have been a contender ∘ fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy ride ∘ I’m as mad as hell and I’m not gonna take this ANYMORE ∘ ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED ∘ Get AWAY from her you bitch ∘ Get to the Chopper ∘ YOU CAN’T HANDLE the TRuth ∘ To infinity & Beyond! ∘ Made it MA! Top of the WORLD! I DiD it! ∘ There’s no crying in baseball 

    November” (11/2/21)ii

    Just what do you think you’re doing here? ∘ What’s in the box? ∘ Elementary, my dear Watson ∘ Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn ∘ But why male models? ∘ Why so serious? ∘ I am serious, and don’t call ∘ Well, nobody’s perfect ∘ Go ahead, make my day. ∘ There’s no place like home ∘ Hasta la vista, baby ∘ we’re gonna need a bigger BOAT

    November” (11/2/21)iii

    Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in. ∘ Wait a minute, wait a minute, you ain’t heard nothing yet ∘ It’s showtime folks ∘ It’s showtime ∘ Welcome to Jurassic Park ∘ Welcome to the Real World ∘ I have a feeling we’re not in KS ∘ They call me Mr. Tibbs ∘ There can only be one ∘ Two men enter, one man leaves ∘ Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? ∘ Do you like scary movies? Is it safe? 

    November” (11/2/21)iv

    Magic Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all? ∘ We rob banks. ∘ Round up the usual suspects ∘ What have you been going through emotionally? ∘ Leave the gun, take the cannoli ∘ This is MY BOOMStick ∘ I aim to misbehave. ∘ Dead or Alive you’re coming with me ∘ I ain’t got no time to Bleed ∘ WHat I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career ∘ If they move, kill them 

    November” (11/2/21)v

    I’m too old for this shit ∘ It’s not the years on it, it’s the mileage ∘ When you grow up, your heart Dies. ∘ I was BoRN a poor black child ∘ You’re going out a youngster, but you’re coming back a star ∘ I am big, it’s the pictures that got small ∘ I’m kind of a big deal ∘ Good to be king ∘ with GREAT POWER COMES GREAT Responsibility ∘ What we do in life echoes in eternity 

    November” (11/2/21)vi

    Well, it’s not the men in your life that counts, it’s the life in your men ∘ Life finds a way ∘ I am not an ∘ In the Name of God, do your duty ∘ Do or do not, there is no try ∘ The stuff that dreams are made of ∘ You want the moon? ∘ Jerry don’t ∘ Let’s ask for the moon, we the stars. ∘ You had me at hello ∘ Really, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship 

    November” (11/2/21) vii

    Remember, Remember, the fifth of November ∘ They’re coming to get you Barbara ∘ Be afraid ∘ The horror, the horror ∘ We all go a little mad sometimes ∘ Fill your hand you son of a bitch ∘ God damn you all to hell ∘ You’re tearing me Apart ∘ English MF Do you speak it? GEt OFF MY LAWN ∘ You’re out of ORDER! ∘ My PRECIOUS ∘ STELLA! ∘ Snap out of it. 

    November” (11/2/21)viii

    Yeah, well yah know, that’s just like, your opinion man ∘ A martini is shaken not stirred ∘ Coffees for closers only ∘ Am I gorgeous? ∘ Somebody stop me! ∘ Alrighty then ∘ It’s in the hole! ∘ As if! ∘ Forget about it ∘ GREAT SCOTT ∘ YOU BETCHA ∘ GROOVY ∘ INCONCEIVABLE ∘ Plastics ∘ REDRUM / Murder! Murder!

    November” (11/2/21)ix

    Lah di dah, lah di dah ∘ Shall we play a game? ∘ Do you want to play a game? ∘ Shut up and deal ∘ May the force be with ya’ ∘ Jesus H. Christ ∘ We’re on a mission from God. ∘ We came, we saw, we kicked its ASS

    November” (11.2.21)x

    Voice • body • nourish • dazzle ∘ Clothes ∘ magical • supernatural • Astonish • Gold  • Borrow from all the arts • hearts & souls • Conscious • Goddess • Evoke Venus, the goddess of Love • Extensive, elaborate • Clusters of Gold • Gold embroidered • Exquisite figure • magnificent Jewel

    November” (11/2/21)xi

    No words can convey her • Ensemble • harmonious Admiration • Buzz • Key🗝DAZZLE✧ harmonious • Attention • changed • LARGER THAN Life • FANTASY • spell • Distract • hint • screaming it • Reveal • imagination // ARMS • Bare

    November~” (11/2/21)xii

    Movement • demeanor • graceful • suggestive • floating • Obsessed • tremulous • Manner • nonchalant aura • relaxed • obvious • languorous air (characterized by tiredness or inactivity, especially of a pleasurable kind • characterized by an oppressive stillness) 

    November” (11/2/21)xiii

    time • world • love • Pleasure •v• Your gestures • ambiguity • innocence • misunderstood • Permeating • Song is liquid and attractive • The unattainable • The seas beckon you wave back 

    November” (11/2/21)xiv

    Delightful • love • power of words • weakness • Master Language • longing • Adaptable • Wit • Charm • Particular • Strong effect • Play • Toy • Kiss • Bold • Eyes • Hands • Safe • Quick 

    November” (11/2/21)xv

    Nothing can stop him • his story is irresistible • Set their hearts ablaze • intense look, a clear indication he was something new and exciting sending her drab life into the flames of fury • desires uncontrolled • Agree • BoLD • He proposed to her • act or attitude of loose morals • Who don’t know Right from Wrong? • Lacking legal or moral restraints • Behavior, revelers lived for challenges • Publicized loud as fuck 

    November” (11/2/21)xvi

    Deuce • Creep • Predator • Novel • Demonic talker • apologies lost, no backing down now • threesome • Remarkable remake • Supernatural Secrets • Uncontrollable urges • Exhausting efforts • worthy wait • Glowing gorgeous • vulnerable victims • can’t control • intense inspiration • distracting desire • Potent Power 

    November” (11/2/21)xvii

    The key • do not hesitate • ABANDON RESTRAINT AND IMMERSE YOURSELF • go • relinquishing control • fundamental submission/weakness • worries/mistrust/charm // thinking about the aftermath • Not worrying • resistance • obstacles • catalyze • engulfed in the moment • CREATE OBSTACLES / RESISTANCE in LIEU OF NATURAL OCCURRENCE • YOU CANNOT BATTLE W/O FIRST SHARPENING YOUR SWORD 

    November” (11/3/21)i

    Nietzsche – suggests that the “Slave revolt in morality” begins when resentment becomes a creative force. In allowing resentment & hatred to grow in him, in having to rely on patience, secrets, and scheming, the man of ressentiment ultimately becomes cleverer than the noble man. 

    Monster in my thought too hideous to be shown. 

    Iago the SNAKE 𓆙

    Need to see into the soul; see the thoughts we cannot 

    You would not understand my soul if my heart was in your hands 

    Godlike view of the soul 

    November” (11/3/21)ii

    • Extreme • Impudent [not showing due respect] sarcastic • nail/lip biting • Cares not for what you think • Paradox; Extreme; Supreme; Enhance; Conservative Culture – Shine & be appreciated • Fresh air • Provider • Essence • Go farther than anyone else is willing to • I DON THE DUKE OF EARL 

    November” (11/3/21)iii

    Great • do not offer • meh pleasantries • allowed in society • reach into the inner external -> the repression awaiting your arrival & repose • Liberate your mind • Uncover the forbidden/dangerous/evil 

    “Today I escaped from ANXiety. Or NO, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions – not outside” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀

    -Marcus Aurelius

  • Dreamy third eye (12/10/25)

    History of love floating around your head ; young genius so full of good memories
    Forget me not when looking back on them with that dreamy third eye

  • loving in my posture (1/3/26)

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  • BO$$ Money (12/11/25)

    Make money from your content
    Hopefully they

    like it!

    (12/28/25)

    I was quite creative on both of these days ∘ I’m surprised I haven’t written in this fucking thing since then. Life smells really good sometimes, for no immediately apparent reason, so all we can do is sit back and enjoy the odor with a hesitant composure as to what may be true about the occurrence.

    More to go! (12/28/25)

    I like to write words because they are very pretty & I can make them very kind & powerful at the same time no matter what that’s what’s so interesting about words for me I guess is their innate ability to impose within anyone certain feelings and understandings of which they themselves expound upon in their most minute mannerisms, so clever are the ways in which they hide their thoughts, yet we can still feel them so clearly as if to be reaching out physically through mere uncanny telepathy via pattern recognition

    Writing your goals (12/28/25)

    I have so much more to write, wish I’d take more time to do so. I wonder if writing actually improves my life. I used to accept just feeling different meant that all of this was worth it, but my moneys are still low; Would writing … well, let me try and we’ll see:

    My goal is to finish

  • Victory Vibrations (11/16/26)

    Get more touchdowns

    Absorb those vibrations of triumphant victory from a God so loving ∘ Emanate from your soul those vibrations of winning ∘ You are a winner

    Win with all your might ∘ feel those obstacles and overcome them with that strength blessed upon you by God

    The Universe is full of those lights that send to you energy so full of strength that you pull off feats of immense GLORY ∘ Find meaning within yourself and realize your miraculous, loving ability to be unstoppable

  • What is it to write like a madman? What does it mean to have righteous handwriting? What if you wrote a whole book – series of books…by hand。°‧⋆˚࿔ you were once less touched by education

    Activate that piece of your soul

    Bring forth into reality that inner BEASTMONSTER96 you righteous divine angel of God mighty with glorious strength that supports that eternal frame of bones that stay sturdy through the most difficult of reckoning ∘ Feel your divine patterns bringing out your inner billionaire – that which holds the most power in any & every circumstances

  • You will find victory (10/22/25)

    Pander not to the weakness of yesterdays failures; instead, rise & be that beautiful being you’ve always been

    Be so gorgeous & mighty as you continue your path to glory

    An everlasting mark on the minds & hearts & history books for many civilizations to come ∘ Outlasting those sands of dripping time ∘ into infinity does your action light it’s fiery rays of shining magnitude to fill the constant void of desire that yearns for your divine release upon the world so weary from a lacking soul so beautiful as yours

    Keep bright & stay strong through those righteous pains of growth and I promise you will find victory

  • yet not (10/20/25)

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  • Wherever you go (10/18/25)

    Creating that bond which is most loving & courageous with a loving righteous spirit so bright & splendid & so full of joy & light and deep seeking forgiveness • That feeling which is felt & loved by all who encounter such a righteous goodness – a deep well of merciful loving power so full of divine glory wrapped up within your kind, patient, powerful, fast, tender, gentle, supreme, loving, fascinating body, mind, spirit & soul ∘ your brain is full of the most fiery & sexual vibes that entice & convince & bring peace & love & kindness to the air wherever you go

  • (10/9/25)

    I remember when I lost my mind, there was something so pleasant about that place • My heroes had the heart to put their lives out on a limb • And all I remember is thinking I wanna be like them

    I didn’t like having to explain to them, so I just shut-up, smoked a cigarette, and looked at the sea.

    But he, that dares not grasp the thorn, should never crave the rose. – Anne Bronte

    In the dark times – Will there also be singing? Yes – there will also be singing about the dark times

    I am out with lanterns looking for myself

  • What if we go together (10/14/25)

    for the sake of our love

    When we go together

    Everything starts to feel so right

    Like a flower in sunshine so bright

  • You will always find (10/8/25)

    Make life so super wonderful for yourself and your loved ones • Seek and find pure ViCTORY ∘ May you reign the almighty king of your kingdom ∘ Powerful Spirit, Strength strong ∘ Growing stronger • You will always find

    Keep finding ~>

    Continued reverence of your most divine self ∘ Your most righteous actions bringing about that divine, wonderful change throughout your times on this roundly going world that spins so lovingly along with your smiling spirit shining so serene as if not to disturb the sleepy kittens so bundled in love.

  • I keep showing up; they can’t stop me!

    your hair and physical features are so beautifully perfect and wonderful and attractive ∘ Shining face • Glowing resolution

    Glorious articulation • righteous intellectualism • Most good and on time • Perfect mind, body, loving spirit, soul of Earth carrying forth the best efforts in endeavoring and accomplishing your goals and ultimately everlasting life for you and your loved ones & peace for your wonderful world. In your heart, carry your very best loving energies; become so charming & clever w/ your thoughts

  • love with loyalty (10/5/25)

    Lead yourself to great success no matter what it takes • you are the ultimate being of righteous, glorious action of which carries your body, mind and soul into your most powerful being – that which you envision yourself becoming

    Your golden magnetic aura shines and brings joy and love to the world so full of forgiveness as we hold hands into the loving arms of infinity, working hard to continue our great quest for bringing forth and continuing the great story of life with peace ∘ With goodness abound within the intertwining of our heart, soul, mind, body and spirit ∘ Becoming our Greatest versions of which the angels love with loyalty

  • Glory flowing through your very being Ultra warrior of divinity • Lovely righteous wonder

    The entity of magical resolution

    you are that which is beautiful

    your blessed vibrations bring the most joyful feelings to the spaces around you • Colorful heart and loving soul • Blood of love

  • Blood of Love (10/4/25)

    Be so FuckiNG

    Victoriousι═══════➙

  • ♡ (10/3/25)

    What are your most righteous ponderings? I do quite enjoy showing my writings online

    You are so cool and joyful and make people so happy to be alive and want to be alive! Positive love and thoughts flowings like God’s greatest most successful angels ∘ loving beautiful glory ∘ Angels • God Heaven sent ∘ Reality maintaining victory seeking • Belief and love in yourself to become that which you envision your life becoming

  • Magnificence (10/3/25)

    Say those most wonderful loving things in your mind so glorious and full of wonderful thoughts ∘ Carry your beautiful body forward and leave the world in awe at your magnificence • Silence of the minds finds new noises that flitter about your darkness • Will we find solace in the depth: of difficulty? What does your soul tell you to do with your body and mind? The frequencies vibrate through you • Bring forth these mighty shocks of God and EARN righteous victory • Being of glorious loving righteous powerful unstoppable invincible divinity • Love, Robert

  • ideals & endeavors (9/20/25)

    Sharpen your thoughts and become victorious with your newfound mindset driven for success ~ the unstoppable being of love & compassion so full of divinity that seeks to root out that which is evil albeit close reflection with like beings, of whom sacrifice themselves so that your goodness may reign powerful above all that seeks to bring about ruin ∘ Strength granted unto you by the loving hands of God’s blessed angels, carry forth with immense gratitude and bring about that change which will make your life so much better, or however, in the realization of your most righteous peace finding ideals & endeavors

  • Captain! (9/15/25)

    Where’s your savior? Always within only not some other body but one’s own -> that is to say you are the savior

    And so be it, lead the way, Captain!

    that mighty sea awaits our return, that we may share with it tales from the lands

    We will rise stronger, more powerful … better than we were once before

    May your strength & guidance reign so supreme ∘

  • boy. (9/15/25)

    Shining muscles of glorious divine strength • Righteous entity

    Soul full of God’s life ∘ Colorful radiance overwhelms the sense until the eternal hum runs true through your wonderful skull -> that which was granted unto you, boy.

    boy. do you

    understand?

    Do you, boy?

    the flame of that match you did strike, did it burn out sooner than you had hoped? Or was it’s sweet kindling just enough to satisfy those senses so keen for love?

  • & lovely (9/14/25)

    you are so amazing & so incredible & so attractive & wealthy & beautiful & divine & strong & loving & kind & generous & witty & intellectual & articulate & profound & lovely

    THE 𖤓 SUN

  • Eternal Strength Rising (9/12/25)

    The fires of victory burn bright as glory is captured & held with loving gratitude

    (9/13/25)

    In being better, may we take back control of our hearts & minds as we recapture lost souls. May these words bring you a sense of fresh air that we may breathe in together in peaceful solitude.

    Beautiful words reminding us of the importance of rest. They hunger for your release – the animal pent up in a cage

    Restless as the light of stars.

  • So full of glory, it overwhelms

    Take in the blessings of the Lord

    God almighty & spread about peace and goodness as you endeavor for great success in your quest to fulfill true meaning & understand of the self, a journey worth more than any dollar amount could ever reflect ∘ With divine muscles & a positive upfront confident go getter attitude, you can accomplish anything ∘ your mind is so powerful as you direct your body through those difficult times, strengthening your resolve & heightening your sense of spirit, making you that much closer to divinity in beauty, righteousness & love forever

  • Gratitude abound (9/2/25)

    Righteous soul pondering the grand magnitude of those finite resources

    Continued reverence for the sun as photons carry forth living energy so divine as to blind the mortal from realizing it’s most dangerous depths ∘ Holy inspiring bringer of life cultivate untouchable glory to be sought & aspired after yet replication would mean eventual replacement, so may I for now absorb it’s holy rays of generous loving beauty as it’s cellular matrix brings my own life righteous color & fulfillment • May I in turn spread love & joy among those I’m blessed enough to come into contact with throughout the days

  • Loving beautiful righteous gratitude flowing as your powerfully magnetic body, mind & spirit bring you great bounties of wealth & success in your effort filled endeavors fulfilling your greatest dreams so that your most powerful desires come true & you become the healthiest, most powerful being you can ∘ Rising with the love of a righteous, peaceful king, your gratitude reigns as a top notch standards for your beautiful kingdom much like the kingdom of your royal body ∘ Immense success flows to you easily ❖

    We’re excited to have you here; fired up.

  • (8/29/25)

    Beautiful righteous loving spirit

    Journeying soul heart filled joy

    Wandering relaxingly into success

    The divine waves of victory flow to

    & from you easily ∘ interesting

    articulation unique to your shining

    soul so full of fantastic love &

    beauty from above ∘ The heavens

    radiate through you

    Be for real about it

    CREATE

  • [fight for love]

  • Beautiful loving soul (8/27/25)

    Righteous greatness flowing through your muscles & bloodstream to create and emanate divine source so that we may bring such awesome & glorious vibrations that are most golden as they fly past the collective entity •

    Your powerful body, powerful mind & powerful spirit bring out the best from within yourself onto the world as you heal the world’s harmed soul in pursuit of loving and bringing life as success is achieved & accomplished through righteous effort that outweighs the lazy demons and defeats them with your righteous, gnarly, flaming sword from God’s great heaven, spreading divinity •

  • Calm Glory (8/25/25)

    feel yourself into immense victory as success flows from you & to you • Earned with the effort exerted propped by muscles fed by the divine blood flow of your warrior spirit that maintains glorious harmony

    • Powerful body ∘ Powerful mind • Powerful spirit ∘

    Engage with your heart & discover momentum toward wealth & righteous wellbeing bound into the healthy confines of your beautiful body as you bring forth to the world a value so intense, it cleanses the collective spirit of evil & enlightens that which is good & most good for life & love

  • Righteous Blood (8/23/25)

    you can prove anything can happen by the sheer will of your glorious fortitude • Peaceful Resolution within your realization & subsequent loving of the divine gifts blessed upon your wonderful soul by the giving source of the charitable universe • Gratitude flowing through your being • Righteous glory shining from your powerful body

    May your glorious tale reign supreme in the wake of the collective liquification of our individual battling’s where our strengths mesh to create the golden aura of powerful, loving, divine souls of glorious harmony that sings through the sharing of vibrations so bright with the light from the depths of your inner star which emerges with certain calm

  • and magical are your lips

    that kiss my yearning skin

    so softly

    as to treat them with with a tender kindness so sweet

    as to fill my being with the radiance of one million butterflies wings

    flapping their colorful magic

    within the depths

    of your righteous heart.

  • Be so powerful you righteous entity with endless energy that attracts the greatest success & wealth of which fuels your life into a beautiful garden of safety, security, love & well being defined by the most healthiest health that keeps you shining like the brightest star both in the day & night sky • Shine bright, young stargazer ∘ behold & absorb those photons so holy and charitable beyond any agreeable belief system ∘ So Brave is your soul as it trudges on against winds so furious, it continues to exemplify holy solidarity with itself powerfully with peace & love abound toward victory

  • I wrote the date before writing anything on the page • I should write more.

    here we are on this glorious Wednesday manifesting immense amounts of love, success, energy & wealth • you are so righteous • your muscles are so strong and powerful • you have a righteously powerful mind, body & spirit with waves of colorful light emitting from your eyes and fingertips so bright. Continue on your path of righteous excellence as you achieve your goals & manifest your dreams into reality with courage so great that the challenges before you tremble in cowardice as they cannot bear to withstand your ultimate strength powered by the divinity of God in heaven with love

  • Unstoppable Power (8/19/25)

    Get such huge beautiful strong divine muscles • you’re so jacked & ripped with blood flowing with loving glory ∘ Money flows to you with love like a magnet ∘ you are immensely wealthy & sexy & doubtless in your positive endeavor to create the greatest vibrations that lead to your winning every game & championship • you are wealthy & victorious & articulate in the way you exemplify your swagger • your preparation is unmatched • you are an unstoppable beast master glorious golden king of diamonds with the power of the sun & righteous spirit that spreads the greatest joy & attracts the most wealth & wonderful beauty

  • Lovely eyes (8/18/25)

    Starry eyed creature, look back to me so dearly, tender do you harken my loving wave of cherishment ∘ lovely pie so sweet, cherry, apple, lime, complete •

    Create with songs of goodness & bring happiness & joy wherever you carry yourself as you attract immense success & wealth to yourself, a powerful spiritual magnet for the manifestation of dreams ∘

    Cut through blockages like a sword so divine & sharp as it penetrates the opposing force in holy rite • Clouds of appreciative rain fill the air with a quiet solitude for the lovely to bask in with fervor with their lovely eyes

    My eyes are a lovely shade (8/19/25)

    of grey, yet they often appear to be quite blue. I believe exercise keeps my body, mind & spirit in tip top shape as I carry my righteous, loving, star filled being through the infinite radiance of life, spreading that which is most good & attractive: love, wealth & further goodness as I achieve immense success & exemplify monumental glory ∘

    The story of an absolute legend beast whose being glows with golden aura that redefines value systems • A literal Market Maker, you shift reality & subsequent understanding with your beautiful words & actions that enlighten the loving world as she yearns for more of yourself from you for her ♡

  • Glory love life success (8/13/25)

    Confidence flows through you ∘ you walk with strong stature • you are power • you are ultimately articulate • Wealth & success flows from the universe into your divine soul giving your body holy power that carries you into your dreams & vision into a life of abundant wealth, love, joy, happiness, glory, life, success • You are God like in your speech and confidence & you are so ultimate with your behavior as you have total control over your emotions & actions ∘ you are so physically attractive & irresistible as you’re a magnet for beautiful vibrations, good health & billions of dollars

    Super righteous being with ultimate strength coursing through my body blessed with God’s glorious light that fills my soul with divine love of which I carry into the vast array of life where I share & spread goodness as it returned back to me, improving & enlightening me so that I take the righteous path and succeed in my dreamy endeavors to become an ultra rich, extremely healthy, well balanced individual

    love & Glory

    Intense, righteous success as power wealth glory love light redemption & magic flow to & from you with an amazing ease as you smile and give forth life to the world ∘ Increasing your net worth exponentially & becoming stronger in your muscle growth & powerful in your control of mind, body & spirit ∘ Becoming a righteous angel warrior of God • The glory of victory is attained by your powerful hands, held to your heart that pushes blood of Gods through your beautiful, magnificent body that acts as a vessel for the flowing divine goodness that bless it with eternally wonderful health & beauty with love & glory

  • The Scribe (8/13/25)

    Spiritual Reconciliation

    It is your time to be great

    Wonderful thoughts of beautiful life flowing through veins so divine & kindness abound𓈒 Your face is full of those righteous thoughts that God blesses your mind with • You have such a powerful mind that is able to control your body & carry forth actions of strength and powerful being ∘ An angel of light spreading joy & peace as your words heal those listening and who hear & your eyes absorb the wealth the world offers with endless acceptance & patience & curiosity, peacefully

    Peaceful improvement (8/12/25)

    With peace loving recognition, you use effort to increase your body’s strength & endurance and subsequently improving your brains ability to think the most premium thoughts that in turn fuel the cycle of action taking that thus improves the overarching quality of the way you speak to & treat people, thus improving & bringing love, light & life to their own life which will exponentialize the improvement of your own life in your endeavor for success in garnering wealth & overly substantial exciting best glory • you are so righteous in your beautiful endeavors to bring forth the best possible feeling that people love

    With a smile •ᴗ• (8/12/25)

    Meditative peace as you wonder about the beautiful minutes that pass and your unconscious absorption of divine energy that radiates through the air to you as a gift from the heavens that evoke magical reckonings that indeed bring forth from within you the righteous angel warrior of God whose flaming sword of courage defies all expectations as it overcomes the bout of evil & instead spreads goodness and life to the world that seeks to discover the answers & further mysteries the grand vastness of the universe has to offer with arms wide open as if to invite our furious curiosity with certain fervor & generosity with a smile 🙂

  • Travel with me (7/2/25)

    to the belly of a God

    tis not for the faint of heart

    At least won’t you reconcile your

    soul with me, for but a

    moment, if be there a moment

    of yours to spare for a poor

    old chap as myself?

    (7/3/25)

    Traveling through a garden together; I’ve never felt so at peace – here, it feels like home • like being gathered ’round fireplace on some winter’s eve, and stories are being told, whether aloud or to yourself, and the moment is held with serene acknowledgement • forever at peace in this moment of everlasting life

  • July 1st, 2025 (7/1/25)

    A wonderful day to feel inspired by the ones we love in our daily reckonings. May ye grow not tired of yeself, young wanderer, and may ye mind grow fruits aplenty • and share ye fruit with the growing hands of the world so ye harvest may carry forth nourishment unto the well being thus bringing health to the collective source and thus yeself.

    Collapse into thine self & feel the glorious support of life perpetuating your soul with graceful love & care.

  • The Days of Robert (4/14/25)

    The Ancient Legend

    The meaning intention vs. reception

    Guess what the writer took it to mean

    Modern historical consciousness

    Different understanding of the universe/world

    Cosmos • Universal • Structure • Arise

    Support for studies • Learn something

    ╰⤵

    in the grip of that powerful emotion

    • snuffed out for good

    Sign of civilization

    mobilize

    Courage and integrity

  • Must do something ∘ What do you want to be? Be your boss • listen to your own commands ∘ Be your own kingdom

    you are your own monarchy

    Capability ∘ Leadership ∘ Bend to your own will ∘ Who is still next to you? If you’re the person of worth you want, your reign will rule strong

    Focusing on what should be done in this moment ∘ Value ∘ invoke glory • Thank the sun for it’s beautiful rays of light ✧ Glorious, glittering shine • Divinity • Glory

    A chance to bring about everlasting life

    What work can we get done now? Are we prepared to undertake action?

    What can we do to prepare for what needs to get done – to defend our lives against the evils of lies

    Fulfilling your obligations (4/8/25)

    Strengthen yourself • glory from our ancestors, from God & the Universe

    Effectiveness of your work ethic ∘ Well intentioned man ∘ What is the price we pay for procrastination? ~> a wasted life

    Become instead your own boss of whom carries expectations of you to fulfill the assignments that need to get done in order to keep the business afloat & in turn managing to maintain some sort of semblance of what it means to be human ∘

    Righteous loving glorious

    beautiful divine waves of love

    coursing thanks to you & me

    9:15AM (4/8/25)

    He woke up again

    Hell yeah • Here’s the day, again.

    “I need it” he tells himself “to feel the glory, again”

    He looks around at the empty room he built for himself.

    Such a small castle; and he gets out of bed to look out the window, forgetting to rush into assignment and thinking only of the word, again.

    Household Codes (4/8/25)

    May we carry our home in peace & harmony ♡

    All my life I want . . .

    . . . Respect my mind

    (4/9/25)

    4:47AM ∘ Dark, cold, writing this outside under lamp light

    Weighing in (4/9/25)

    at around 181 lbs, at least, two weeks ago [LOL]

    (4/10/25)

    Taste of the divine

    (4/11/25)

    ∘ Become super famous & loved globally for infinite positive/good reasons ∘ Spread joy & peaceful loving vibes • Build • Grow • Evolve

    Learn • understanding • Becoming

    Beginning • Strength • Beauty

    Phonogachi

    Admission in self-betterment

    Cooperative • Compromise • Balance

    How are you going to interpret that? (4/11/25)

    We demand he is brought back as soon as possible • Resonate • tuning fork

    Treatment of people – how do you treat people? What are the consequences of your decisions? Possible to continue to live •

    Reflection – who are we as a country?

    Inhabitant • Citizen • Successful

    It won’t be too long • Deserve • Ability

    How should you be treated?

    Ability to decide • Consistent

    We need more tunes (4/12/25)

    Please keep making music ♡

    I ♡ singing & dancing 𖨆♫♪

    Show up in person

    give care • best case scenario

    Thanks for having me ∘ Real people

    Anecdotal

    What gives you hope? (4/13/25)

    The kids. The children give me hope; they’re playful and they’re energetic and they’re surviving •

    I believe that the

    human spirit is

    incredible & the Spirit

    of children is more than

    any of us have as

    adults

  • Criteria ∘

    (4/6/25)

    What is your response? ∘ Basically ∘

    Can you speak on that?

    Data points • Administer

    Peaceful administration • Brand new

    Independent authority

    Lawful ∘ People ∘ Deserve ∘ Country

    House • Admit it • Wrongful • Return

    Imagine 𖦏 putting yourself on better

    footing ∘ World diplomacy ∘ What we’re dealing with here is human beings

    The sun will come out…tomorrow!

    Prerogative ∘ Deferential • Procedural

    Brief • Purposes • Review • Essence

    Urgency • Compliance • Seventh •

    Argue our case • File • Ruling

    Tuning in now -> what happens?

    Intentionally (4/6/25)

    Fingerprints • cause • closer every day

    Confinement ∘ willfully • Predict the future

    Put your dollar bet on the line

    Power Grab ∘ Flex • veins • muscles

    Brains • Responsible ∘ Grab up more power

    What happens next? Motion ∘ Days •

    Time • Expecting ∘ No later ∘

    Next minute -> midnight • failed

    Next morning • onwards • Thank you

    for tuning in.

    Extremely happy (4/6/25)

    Attention -> paying attention to the good things ∘-> small positive/good things

    (4/7/25)

    Happy 4-7!

    Success is upon us

    May our hands be righteous in our continuance of graceful glory ✧

    Righteousity

    in our hearts

    minds

    souls

    eyes

    is wonder

    within

    wonder

  • Optimal Solution (4/1/25)

    Mathematical ecologist

    Harvesting ∘ Environment

    Social interaction ∘ water ∘ information

    Animal behaviors ∘ computations

    Voice of… (4/2/25)

    (4/3/25)

    Appreciating life before the grave.

    Supposed to be hot & rainy this weekend

    Not sure what

    What we go through (4/5/25)

    We’re out of our fucking minds ∘ money making vehicle

    High occupancy Who the hell do you think you are?

    You know what’s hilarious

    You are or you aren’t

    What are you sad about?

    Over the horizon

    Jesus Christ

    Crazy Elf

    Learned a lot of things in life

    Building everything from the ground (4/5/25)

    level ∘ Doing something about it •

    Starting from a better place

    What is your level of independence?

    Force to reckoned with

    Folks like you don’t come around often

    Still working ∘ support ∘ go a long way ∘

    improving brain functions

    Ringing, gorgeous beauty

    Legacy ∘ Billionaires

    Foreign leaders ∘ Controlling the World

    People who get this will understand

    Learning about who you are

    Desperate wealth • Individual basis

    There is a Winner (4/5/25)

    What can we expect to see? Show up • $40 million • One hundred million dollars • Business Working women & men ∘ Creates the system ∘ What do you believe?

    The body learns

    the will to live is an interesting thing.

    Is anything possible to anyone?

    Challenges ∘ Neural ∘ dopamine circuitry

    Embrace new learning, new challenges

    Renovation • Unexpected • Preparation

    Imagine a great place

    Mindful Hospital

    Stress is by far the biggest killer

    Measure their stress levels -> will give us answers about our health

    You don’t get burnout if you’re mindful (4/5/25)

    It can be exhausting if you’re not getting anything • we need a mindful checklist • Fruits and vegetables (I feel like we need a new word for vegetable) things become automatic -> mindless -> lacking awareness ∘ Checklist

    Better than better way -> mindful checklist ∘ Beyond yes/no -> can only answer if you’re paying attention -> notice -> care -> grow, recognizing you don’t know

    Notice the changes in people

    Hyper awareness • Hyper understanding

    Believe there’s a right answer ∘ any experience is

    only experienced through you

    Equal choices ∘ Choose your adventure

  • Righteous Mapping (5/14/25)

    What do you like to write about? hm? Say it then

    “Be me or fight me” – You

    What do you put in your mouth?

    Damn life hurts

    Legendary thinking ∘

    Anytime, Anyway, Anyhow

    Making your force field

    Stronger

    When will you be Satisfied? (5/15/25)

    I’m not sure what satisfaction means

    Center

    Chester

    (5/16/25)

    What can you (we) do to maintain calm & peace?

  • Losing (5/13/25)

    You are so fucking tired of losing -> how about doing some fucking winning then mother fucker. Can you? You can figure out what to do to get these dubs ∘ Winning only ∘ Victory over everything 𖤍

    Victory

    What can we do to be

    Victorious 𖤍

    Fortunate (5/13/25)

    I make my own luck 🍀

    EFFORT

    Control your destiny

    Nobody can judge your effort

    It’s raining. You gonna let that stop you?

    Fuck no.

    Fools party; kings celebrate

    Show up & be your best

    Believe in it (5/13/25)

    Success is all you ∘ intention

    Effort ∘ Work ∘ Dominate

    Make the decision to choose who you are

    Greatness in the mirror

    Closer to Greatness • Willing to

    be the outlier • the weird one

    Stand out ∘ When they don’t

    understand you, you’re doing it

    right. Trying to get it.

    Purpose.

    I don’t need to jerk off.

    Positive production

    Victory ∘ Champion mentality

    Righteous actions

    Will love be there? (5/13/25)

    Can you love endlessly? Without garnering hurt for yourself or others? What can we do to make life

    Workin’ on the roads (5/14/25)

    again ∘ ∘ ∘ Own your time

    Escape the matrix ∘ Make

    lots of money ✧

    What does victory taste like

    What does winning feel like

    What can you do to win?

    What do you have within

    Positive Righteous Glory (5/14/25)

    Training

    Hope ∘ Belief • ^Your Vision will come true

    Robert (5/10/25)

    is the name of the New Pope. I don’t have any expectations. I just hope he can stop the ▇▇ of kids by our Catholic Priests.

    What can we do? Change the narrative

    Korea (5/11/25)

    I want to learn Korean & Arabic

    Every puzzle’s

    constructed differently

    – Kobe

    You are God’s favorite (5/14/25)
  • Chess (5/5/25)

    You love to play chess, so why not play more? Let not the downfalls of your heroes be the backlash of a spirit you hold so close to your heart & being. May you succeed in many moves ahead of you; even now in your brain do the pieces move in favor of your great victory. Feel them. Be part of their glory as they work with you to capture the hearts of your opponents. Forget not to shake their hands upon completion of the mission in gratitude for their suffering at your hand & team.

    Writing to improve (5/5/25)

    my soul ∘ my heart ∘ my mind

    & body & spirit so that healing

    & betterment may exponentialize

    Money, so much (5/6/25)

    What can you do to earn $10,000,000,000.00? Focus on your duties, make good decisions, learn that saying no to certain things that don’t work with you to improve your life

    A Prayer (5/7/25)

    I thought about writing so instead of doing the thing I was about to do (still going to do that) I wrote this real quick ꨄ︎

    (5/9/25)

    SiGNificance

  • Measure of significance (6/16/25)

    Bring forth joy ♡ & freedom

    (6/17/25)

    What are difficult things that you could do? Would it be difficult to write as much as possible? Cut out the noise ∘ Mindset • Carrying your weight • resist the resistance against yourself

    UNBORNAGAINST

    Magic happens there” (6/17/25)

    Bring magic into life

    To feel solid, that is to feel top notch

    Worthwhile endeavors • Bored dreaming

    Experience the best ideas & stimulate

    Write them down lest they fleet

    Inspiration thus value of the moment

    Shifted language ∘~,

    Weighted walking

    Skeletal & muscular system

    Activity that goes outside

    Fill the gaps in your workouts

    Gathering your glory

    What weight do you carry?

    Get some weight & carry it

    Doesn’t have to be too complicated

    Write the first 20 paragraphs

    to get to that 1 sentence

    Smell of Weed in the air” (6/17/25)

    on this wet, sunny day -> a tuesday in june with birds singing & colors blooming • let’s get these congratulations

    Hi baby!

  • March, 2025 ☘︎

    “Today” (3/17/25)

    the other day I probably said the worst things I’ve ever said to her. I’m trying to not be negative or mean & positivity feels fake so I just want to relay facts at this point. I’m not happy with being disrespected in our relationship. In fact I am certain she doesn’t respect me, although she has been nice. Hope she has a good, long & happy life because I do not know if we are together anymore.

    “Lifechanging” (3/27/25)

    yale • Harvard • Ivy • College student • Libraries • Studying • Success • Academia • Freedoms • Growth • Learning • Development • Truth & Freedom • Strategy • Private profit • Daring • Voyages • Frighten the authorities • Fiery Battle • Treachery • Piracy • Ceased • Transforms crime into politics

    “Super Righteous” (3/28/25)

    What can I do to reach divine being within myself so that my physicality may become Godlike in structure & mind & depth ~> love • heart & soul

    What do you change from them?

    Zarephath • Drenched

    Hometown Boy

    Mood changes

    Righteous times

    Righteous measures

    Righteous body

    Serving my people

    Simple Kindness” (3/28/25)

    Calm care • Salvation of love

    How did Paul die? Decapitation by Romans

    Tell us that story

    Journeys • Rented rooms

    First he heals them

    Begin Again” (3/30/25)

    We are exhausted • What is scarlet?

    .

    .

    Flickering light

    their city

    feels natural to have you here

    “Power & Control” (3/31/25)

    Power to not get upset with your loved ones ∘ Control over your actions ∘~> what is in my control is my limbs & my facial expressions & my thoughts ∘-> it is sometimes difficult to control my thoughts -> that is to say I’m not quite sure which ones might pop up within my brain at any given point in time. How much power do you have over the things within your control? I think I have more power over the things within my control than I act. Imagine if you act so kind & patient while getting so smart & strong and believing in yourself & that you are so beautiful & attractive & loved

    Exit West [Book analysis]” (3/31/25)

    The novel establishes borders insofar as describing the locations of certain activities. Beyond that, the novel breaks down the idea of borders by leaving places (including their city of residence) unnamed and untitled. This is a curious choice by Hamid, as it brings forth a sense of mystification, leaving the reader to fill and/or appreciate such gaps. It also brings to mind the idea of an egoless war, defying the importance placed upon nationalism.

    -> internal borders

    -> Nadia vs. Saeed’s personal boundaries

    “Mindful vs. Mindless” (3/31/25)

    Mindful = having fun -> act of noticing

    VS.

    mindlessness -> focus is mindless

    ـــــــــــــــــــــــﮩ٨ـ

    enhanced, charismatic

  • February ’25

    listen more carefully (2/4/25)

    am wanting to be so much kinder & patient and loving to lady

    Is never wanting to lose my cool and only hold her so close all the time and be so kind and gentle and patient and loving and hold her so close in my heart even when she is not here and tell her through my soul that I love her with every drop of blood that my heart churns into my body that is hers forever.

    Thank God she was there

    I’ll be writing all the time and you’ll be getting the checks…

    I won’t forget

    Everything takes time

    Learning (Never fail her again) (2/4/25)

    Pray again!

    Never fail her again

    “And he was giving everything back, as everything must be given back, so that, passing through death, it can live forever.”

    4:44pm (2/9/25)

    I know how special this place is and I know how special a person I can be and I’m just happy to be a part of it ∘

    turns 67

    Redefine with new tools

    the Ultimate test ∘ Crystal ball

    ∘ Faster Start ∘ Stay Healthy

    ∘ Good & talented

    They’ll talk about this

    FOREVER

    Every single step -> everything you got ∘ For the person beside you

    Won (2/9/25)

    Debate Greatness ∘ What is GREATNESS? What does a GREAT [you] look & act like? ∘-> Embody your GREATEST SELF ∘ Put in the work every single year ∘ Continually winning. We know who we are ∘ We embrace who we are ∘ We Come together and take on the mission. Hard fought battle ∘ Earn Respect ∘ Give Respect

    Honesty & Natural Style (2/10/25)

    Zen – to stop thinking, temporarily -> even when you think

    (2/11/25)

    ∘ impiety 𓃊 a perceived lack of respect for something considered sacred. -> sacrilege -> large belief system disrespected -> exile

    Anaxagoras – introduced the concept of “Nous” (cosmic mind) as an ordering force -> Panspermia -> life exists throughout the universe and could be distributed everywhere -> also speculated that the sun might be just another star

    Gentle (2/12/25)

    Kindness is what I’d like to embody nowadays

    Head Writer

  • Welcome! (1/27/25)

    To the peanut gallery, where your

    attention is my life’s purpose. My sarcasm

    may Run deep at times, but please know, when

    I am sarcastic, it’s genuine.

    “Wife or a Man?…so confused”

    “…text to a friend.”

    Out of time …

    so let’s begin!

    …most horrifying for the

    Reader…

    interpreting it as

    imagine ∘solidified•

    Genuine intuition

    & Creativity

    Super intelligent intellectuals

    Frankenstein Syndrome (1/28/25)

    New corner of ∘ ∘ ∘ rooted in

    modern science • Natural forces

    Reason • ∘ Sensation • ∘ Passions • ∘ Brain

    Literacy • ∘ Cunning • ∘ Super intelligence

    Control • ∘ What’s in your control? Be

    careful to know.

    <-• literary cure ∘->

    the dumbest argument you’ve

    ever heard…

    Enjoying the company

    Monetize it…we don’t need to

    monetize, we can do it cuz we’re

    friends!

    Great gentleness

    bright face

    Patient kindness -> Grand scheme of

    things

  • Environment ∘ Strength demanding skills

    High level skills ➙ not stressful

    Very powerful; Proper training/learning/living

    just drew a bloody bit

    A GUST of Wind Whistled

    Wildly without repose

    @ 10:50pm –

    I wish that we will stop hurting

    each other. May we spread good love

    and good life with each other

    SO that our future presents are

    full of success we work so persistently

    towards in the midst of our current

    presence. Keep going, keep loving ღ

  • Bird Poem [By: Z]

  • the Sacred hum

  • fastidious dragons

    Brought about some stars 

    To share with the likes of eyes

    That would stare upon me 

    With hearts so full of loving being 

    That serves me new bundles of hope

    Being a human 

    Sitting on a chair 

    Drinking a coffee

    And making a point 

    To be more important in some respect 

    To garner better respect 

    In our passing by of certain time

    Making value of those precious 

    Seconds 

    A second thought forgot to cross your path 

    Mindful of your forgetfulness 

    Remembering that you forgot 

    Memories fading in and out 

    Dragons flying around 

    Breathing fire and smoke 

    Looking dastardly 

    As if they’re going to eat you up 

    So you grab your sword 

    Ready for battle 

    Or you take leave with speed

    As much speed as possible 

    Either way will be a fastidious affair 

  • Concrete Barriers

    Another Nightmare • Retreat

    Move forward • Buckin’ it • Calm

    Respire ∘ Music • Somber • Wake to

    the stench of death & aching moans

    Pale reckoning ∘ Cold days of hell

    Worried faces ∘ Struck by tragedy

    Wild loss of friends & loved ones

    Where did love go? Why has it

    left this place? Will we feel

    our loved one’s warm embrace ever

    again? The thunder continues ∘

  • My Grandma – A short story

    It had been several months before the virus spread that I had last seen my grandma. She had a growing case of dementia and was in the throes of reliving her childhood. She didn’t recognize me at all; I think she thought I was some cute boy from another neighborhood. She even acted jealous when I was giving my six year old second cousin attention and wheeled her scooter over to me to get in on the eye contact. 

    Long before her mental decline, I never really had a good relationship with her, even though she went out of her way to buy my siblings, cousins and me gifts. My mom and aunts always complained about how poorly she treated them during their childhood, and so it was confusing to see her so happy and cheerful as my mom rolled her around Walmart. 

    “You like this one?” She’d ask with glee as I fawned over a transforming spaceship. 

    “No, Ma! That’s way too expensive! He can’t…” My mom started. 

    “Oh, bashaw! He likes it, he can have it!” She insisted. 

    I think she was trying to make up for leading such a mean life. She even donated extra to her church, talked to the likes of countless strangers (even gave them money that she didn’t have) and would tell people stories about her life, mostly stories about how much her daughters mistreated her. It was a surprising sight to witness given my mom and aunt were taking care of her in her more feeble years. 

    Both of her parents had died when she was young, and I wonder if that had anything to do with the misery my mom went on about. I saw it firsthand when I was really young, when she could still walk. She and my grandfather had led unhealthy lives, him smoking whole packs of cigarettes at the family’s dining room table, her downing every piece of sugar she could get her hands on. Type 2 diabetes plagued them in their old age, and other ailments followed them like crows to corn. 

    “Oh, would you be quiet and sit still!” I overheard her yelling at no one from the dining room while my sister and I were playing in the adjacent living room. It must’ve been in regards to us, but I think her and my grandfather were too exhausted in their old age to make a more formal approach. 

    I remember her telling me about the Yankees, and so it was no surprise that in her childish reminisens that she’d go on about Mickey Mantle and their glory days. 

    “Did you go to Yankee games when you were young, Grandma?” I asked her one day in a car ride for one of her regular hospital visits. 

    “Oh, yes, but we mainly saw the news in the paper. That Mickey Mantle was something else,” she said before gazing in my direction, “he was an ambidextrous batter, you know?!” 

    Looking back on it, I think she thought I looked like him, or at least reminded her of him with my protruded forehead, blonde hair and cheeky smile. That, or she just thought he was handsome and that I should try out for baseball. Whatever the reason, it’s probably my favorite memory of her. 

    She had already been in hospice when the virus hit her, and it didn’t take long before it took her life. I didn’t feel much of anything in the wake of her death. It was as if all of my mom’s and aunt’s memories had become part of me, so I just felt numb to it all. There was also something disingenuous about her kindness. She would usually greet us with smiles and excitement, but as visits went on, her frown became the staying notion and not much was talked about beyond regrets and complaints about past mistakes and unfortunate circumstances. 

    “Ma, dad never said that, that just…” My mom would start. 

    “Oh, caw, come on,” my Grandma spat, “you don’t know what you’re talking about,” as she’d roll her eyes. 

    I wonder if the virus had been painful for her, if she had even known about the ‘new plague’ in her state of unbeing. The darkness that had come over her mind was enough to shroud the memory of even her daughters and son from present sight, so what was one more ailment to her? I like to think that she barely felt infected by the time the care center had called my mom to tell us she had tested positive. 

    “Mom’s got the virus,” My mom told my dad after getting off the phone. 

    “Oh, no…” My dad replied, setting aside whatever work he was busy with, “that might just do it…”

    “Hm…” was all my mom could muster. Her and my aunt were the only two out of five that took care of her as she needed more and more support. I think by then, she was just tired and depressed from taking care of someone with a fleeting memory that barked complaints and orders about pain and medication. 

    I started to think if I could have done more; not about her health but as a better grandson. I wondered if I could have visited her more when her mind was still all there, asked her about life growing up, maybe uncover dark secrets that’d explain the looming unhappiness that afflicted our family. Mostly though, I never questioned it. I felt as if she didn’t deserve such effort from me, even as I got old enough to drive and be able to visit her more often. This sort of bothered me, but it never motivated me enough to change my thinking. I thought “since she treated my mom like shit, why would I treat her any differently?” 

    One night, years after she had died and the virus had been suppressed to a passing conversation, I asked my mom about my Grandma’s final moments. 

    “So how long had she had it before she died from the virus?” 

    “Oh, she didn’t die from the virus. It was phenomenological. It even killed her doctor, that’s what got the ball rolling on them locking down their facilities.” She replied, to my astonishment.

    “What? I thought you said she caught it right at the beginning and that’s why…” 

    “Well, she did catch it, but then she tested negative and lived a few weeks after that. I must not have told you, yeah the employees were all shocked.”

    I stood there in shock as she explained how her body somehow killed off the virus and she had continued on. 

    “Wait, then, what happened? Did she just die from old age, her dementia?”

    “Hm, maybe. I firmly believe she died from depression.”

    “Depression?” I knew my Grandma was sad, but she didn’t come across as someone who was medically depressed enough to die from it. 

    “Yeah, because no one could visit her at that time. Everyone was still on edge about the virality of it, whether it was airborne and so forth. With no one around, she must have lost something more in the midst of losing her mind. As if nobody cared about her. I knew other old people who died because of that. Your great grandmother on your grandpa’s side died a month after your great grandfather because she missed him so much, oh you knew that…” 

    I was beside myself. All those years of telling people she had died from the virus, and she had gotten it, but I had no idea she got over it. Then the heavy really hit harder. What if I had visited more? What if I had gone to her with gifts that she would have enjoyed, like how I enjoyed the transforming spaceship she had gotten for me at the reluctance of my mother? What if I had shown her that I did love her, even with all of the vitriol that was cast between her and her children, and subsequently me? Would she have lived longer? Would she not have fallen so privy to her dementia? Whatever the case, something about her beating the virus, a feat not even the healthiest victims could achieve, in the paroxysm of her mind decaying, made me feel proud to be her grandson. 

  • Newsletter IV (April 19, 2025)

    It’s Saturday and it’s a hot one!

    Personal Growth:

    We all need time on our own to grow so that we may show that we know how to glow below that which parties may tow across lines distinct enough to blow your whole soul out of the hole.

    Thus is the weekend.

  • A minus

    My blood type is A- and I think that reflects the type of person I am. For instance, I get A-’s in classes where the professors know that I am exemplifying my intellect, but I am not putting forth that extraness they know that I am capable of. This is to the chagrin of my greatest mentors. I wish I could fulfill a redemptive un-shaming of my ego, yet I continue on this character given it is within my blood. I think if I cared more about things, then I would be A+ which I do not even think I can accept that blood. What am I even trying to say? Well, I think it’s interesting because I feel I have been given the choice between two very simple options, A or minus, of which are inseparable, united into one by my own being, thus giving me the power to show the world which one I need more. Alas, the inseparability of the two has proven a solemn task, one I daren’t take lightly as I carry this funny little character of mine. As I contemplate between being lazy as fuck and working out, I end up just staring while some distraction blares over cheaper speakers than those I see on our wonderful streams. The pushing out of that which is internal and wants to bring forth angelic reckoning to whatever extent is beautifully mine, yet I sour it with unknown feelings that wish to wash away happiness towards my own self. This anti-bargaining is self defeating, yet I carry my blood not unlike Jesus dared(?) to carry a cross for all to question into eternity. 

  • Syncrocity

    Quantum enthrallment continues its baffling procedure amongst our unknowing ongoing. This is in light of total dominance reconciled via certain radiant intake. If understood beyond mere simple magical happenings, these mechanisms may prove expoundable by psychological means. In contemplation of the character of one’s own individual undertaking, there is a clear patternized unresistance present. These patterns defy expected routine via altered realization upon witness / sensory intake. One may look to the idea of a double appearance of an experience within a single day, both experiences of which caught the main conscious focus to whatever degree, the latter doubly so given the recurrence of the former. Such passive acceptance of these occurrences holds power & magic with uncertainty notwithstanding. The certainty lies only within belief in the system of nerval connectivity present throughout the dimension of standing breath. We can embark upon non-breathing realms within the telepathic resonances climbed upon by peaceful intentions, though these can be fast and unnoticed reckonings, thus must be thought of to the creative extent, at the least, in order to have a semblance of capturing definition upon natural gratification. If one can indeed realize and embark upon the syncing levels naturally present within their breathing moments, of which were placed on them by both choice & chance, then the expounding can be intangible in glory. It is difficult to underscore this because it already comes so naturally that one hardly needs to realize this in order to fulfill certain potential. With that said, purposeful endeavoring to connect those loose parts you find vividly present in ambiguous manner scattered throughout not only your waking eyesight, but your inner vision, then perhaps you will awaken those moods so desired not only within yourself but also within those parts of which will be uplifted by your innate glorious reconciliation, in peace. 

  • Next Chapter

    RB  (7/1/23)

    i’d like to write a ballad for the artist that lives within you: 

    Thank you, oh dear fire, for lighting my way through the darkness and thank you ^for providing the heat that shields me from the coldness from their hearts like palms against steel • my dear fire, it is what captures my living attention when there is all of space to be gazed upon

    Jung – healing” (7/2/23)

    “Where your fear is, there is your task” 

    Predispositions tied to symptoms 

    – Anxiety, low energy, lazy, too high strung 

    Chronic illness’ linked to these personality traits 

    • Treat the person if you want to see the symptoms resolved 

    • The patient’s own healing

    heroes journey

    Symptoms -> chronic -> linked to way person thinks, lives 

    Knowledge that benefits the person 

    Most difficult knowledge is self-knowledge 

    easy to be objective w/ others and subjective w/ ourselves 

    What are my patterns -> self sabotage, things do to myself, diet, things I do in my relationship, in my marriage 

    They’re all on me 

    Where your fear is, there is your healing. 

    Understanding Personality And Disease Archetypes:

    Rigidity & Laxity

    . YANG       Yin   .” (7/3/23)

    • Yin & Yang ☯

    Rigidity: hyper aroused nervous system, more tense, anxious, neurosis, excessive worrying, every little thing is a problem to be fixed now, excessive urgency in living 

    Laxity: Laziness, undisciplined eating, can’t exercise, hard to get out of bed, lax eating, lax approach towards life, no urgency to live 

    no deliberate living 

    Bring personality traits to the middle 

    Damp constitution – Dry them up a bit & their bloating will get better 

    Dry Constitution – Give them moistening herbs so that they’re not drying out too much 

    Bring the psyche to the middle • coming back to the middle will be healing heroes journey 

    Heal the person to heal the disease 

    Fears – what you’ve been avoiding 

    Traits, valves, thought systems 

    Jung – Confront oneself” (7/3/23)

    Confront oneself – fear of confronting oneself;

    Jung – confronting oneself like going to the depths of hell & confronting the shadow aspects of ourselves is where the greatest healing begins 

    Understand where we are on that yin and yang spectrum 

    Nietzsche & Jung: Healing your inner child” (7/3/23)

    • Child -> Metamorphosis •-> becoming the child 

    • Crucial realization 

    -> Child represents innocence, forgetfulness, a new beginning, a game, self-propelling wheel, a first motion, a sacred yet ——> relevant in self-improvement 

    • Shadow -> Jungian shadow work 

    • repression, avoidance, void 

    • Rooted within childhood trauma which we repress from ourselves 

    • Develope self-awareness of ourselves and of our past 

    Nietzsche” (7/3/23)

    Nietzche identified the child as what should be the final metamorphosis of all human souls • spirits in this life -> 

    That life is at it’s best when we finally embody the characteristics of the inner child -> to be of complete innocence, forgetfulness, playfulness 

    view of life as a sacred nest of spontaneity & play 

    Pinnacle of existence 

    -> Remember being a child, life was euphoric -> enjoy life

  • RB   (5/13/24)
    Courage & Self awareness
    Personal Empowerment
    Detachment ∘ Flow with life’s
    changes & challenges
    Harmony, Bliss, Peace, Joy, Clarity
    FREEDOM ∘ Meaningful connection
    Authentic • True self ∘ Personal journey
    Accept people as they are without
    trying to change them
    Actively listen, offer support
    Empathy, compassion -> unconditional
    Support • Celebrate their success
    Unconditional love – forgive
    Recognize humanity -> learn from
    Mistakes -> let go of emotional
    burden ∘ LaLa LaLaLola

    RB   (5/13/24)
    We hold these truth to be self-evident
    God I love May ∘ Let’s do our best to make the ideas of May absolutely spectacular. God bless us all, & thank God for such blessings!

    RB  (5/14/24)
    I do wish for peace between these warring nations. May they find reconciliation sooner than later, for all of this death is rather sad. To all of the people out there who have the dance within them, dance young love, dance and with such dancing, maybe peace shall arise. I love you guys. We can do this so let’s fucking do this. Without support, our structure would collapse. Do your part. Bring Glory to your name. Make your visions come true

    RB   “The Writings of Robert” (5/17/24)
    I want to try & write more with less words which from what I can tell, in case of making in substantial, will likely have to put decent thought into the writing.

    RB   (5/18/24)
    ⟡Be a good person. Be the
    Best Person✧
    (♡ヮ♡)(¬ ͜ ͡¬)(≧ᗜ≦)

    RB    (5/21/24)
    Place your hand on my beating heart
    People fall in love in mysterious ways
    Maybe it’s all part of a plan
    Hoping that you’ll understand
    Take me into your loving arms
    Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
    Place your hand on my beating heart
    Robert

    The Stranger – Albert Camus  (7/26/24)
    Part 1: •Narrator has a strange voice, can’t recall if they said his name but basically his mom died and he comes across as mostly nonchalant & somewhat annoyed by everyone who was involved in her life as they proceed with the funeral. Very short/abrupt sentences
    • Spurt type of dialogue. I definitely enjoy it so far though I’m not sure why • Maybe it’s because I appreciate Camus’ writing style [i.e. the short sentences]

  • Some Fragments From Time 

    Days go by” (4/25/23)

    been crazy since then 

    Crazy dreams, can really only remember the end, I think B99 was a big part of the dreams but there was a lot 

    Handling human Problems” (8/21/23)

    Crumble the righteous outward 

    inward humanity beneath & above 

    Leave earth the skies clouds welcome 

    me as gatekeepers to the stars 

    an exponential growing & return to 

    what life is was and will 

    limitations vs. balance

    Regulation • relationships

    flow with nature 

    Conception of 

    intention & Action simultaneously 

    Free from karma w/o announcement 

    Share ∘~> What else <~∘” (4/29/23)

    Support •-> Anger -> emotions 

    text therapist when control ceases 

    Bible verse • Patience 

    Who is on Earth vs. who is not 

    insta can be poisonous 

    Alone together 

    Regrets -> Redeem -> forgive 

    Understand -> self reflection 

    Consequences of understanding” (8/21/23)

    Shows you intelligence rather than effort – Cleverness instead of muscle 

    Perception / ability to sense 

    Relationship 

    Simply live now 

    No place for using effort

    things just do what they do 

    Great relief Just this moment 

    Play with the connections 

    Move them ∘ Present moment 

    Enormous fun ∘ Playing all kinds of continuities 

    Mountains are mountains 

    Waters are waters

    When negative happens” (5/1/23)

    thinking about what you’re grateful for 

    think about what you love about the people who are important to you 

    think positive thoughts 

    Write ; go for a walk 

    take a breather 

    Remind yourself of your goals 

    Overcome with bravery, strength, courage 

    Beauty • Love • Divinity 

      GOALS

    therapy is nice

    Ideas” (5/1/23)

    Philosophy videos 

    Books

    Jobs 

    Poems

    Essays 

    Don’t give up 

    No energy drinks 

    Smoke” (5/2/23)

    People love to smoke ~ I think it’s because of the curves -> they remind them of the curves in their lives, whether that be the curves of their loved ones, or the curves of the windy roads, of the trees, the clouds (especially) or the curves in their minds 

    Watery Ways” (8/21/23)

    Waters are waters

    Wisdom of the ridiculous 

    the beginning of philosophy 

    is wonder 

    Thinking 

    idea / image of ourselves 

    Days & nights 

    ink on the page 

    Something out of nothing 

                             Shows -> Entertainment

  • December

    December
    “December ✶ ₊˚A New Month ∘” (12/1/21)i

     
    We are such things that dreams are made on
    • Be free, and fare thou well
    – Please you, draw near.
    “December 𖠰 ” (12/1/21)ii
    • infinite game
    • Should you feel bad for people
    • Prospero (∘)˚√.√・-݁₊~.˖>. ⊹ . ݁ ݁Magic
    • Lazarus • Jesus  • Zeus
    • Enɵch(∘)˚√.√・-݁₊~.˖> The book
                                       of Enoch
    • Read the Bible 🅞√√-~>⋮ Watch later list
    • What is magic to you? Do you still believe in magic?
    • Whore’s -> do they perpetuate a way of life or are they victims of a beggard pattern that is indicative of Men’s desires? They benefit from the money and they don’t stop doing it. They even do it today in the form of pictures and videos. But men to blame •
    “December” (12/2/21)i
    Material Goals
    Human Accomplishment
    ideas
    This too shall pass
    • information: the most valuable commodity
    Imagination is everything


    Spontaneity
    • Self-actualization
    • Creativity
    • Hard Working
    • Finished Product
    • Showing you care
    “Rules” (12/2/21)ii
    Without Rules, we are quick to lose grasp of our dreams and chain ourselves to deliberate short term gratification • Ingrained set of internal edict plays out in situated fashion to prove their necessity → understandable • veritable • Hard work through plight in colloquial proceedings
    • Pugnacious propensity —> Consecrated


    Does this pen still have ink?

    “December”
    Control
    • Wake up at consistent time
    • Eat protein rich food [jan. 2025 update: currently eating after 11 am. daily]
    Righteous Posture
    of the Victorious
    and blessed : 1
    2
    Support your being
    in its growth toward
    the experienced
    Chaos • within the throes of existence • unknown – ununderstood
    “Back is the way forward” – T. S. Elliot
    Back as awake beings
    Exercising extremely good decision making
    “December” (12/6/21)i
    • Be a #1 person ˚🜲˚
    • Warm day today -> reached 69˚

    “December” (12/7/21)
    “It is unrealistic to expect people to see you as you see yourself.” – Epictetus
    Dreamer : Can’t quite recall but I remember exploring or something of the sort
    “You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength”
    “•Immortality•” (12/8/21)
    Wu Wei is the art of sailing rather than the art of rowing – Alan Watts
    All the waters contain the moon.
    Someone with absolutely no flaws would cease to manifest.


    Be a rascal
    Be a Monster༚
    Be deeply genuine
    Attract what you want
    What you aim at determines
    what you see.

  • “love” (12/17/24)

    Robert 

    ORACLE of FATE 

    I Miss my love very much 

    if you ever read this, I love you so much lady! 

    you are the hottest, most

    perfect, most   beautiful 

    being in all     of the entire universe 

    & I love you 

    lady. Is going to be so much 

    kinder if you ever give me another

    Chance~>

        to love you 

      so much 

  • “FRiDAY” (4/28/23)

    Wet love drops jeans crumpled riveting imagination thoughts results sitting physical powerful leaf bird chirps corgi rage waiting breathing what answer

    (4/29-5/3/23)

    Miracles 

    Mysteries   ☼

    L🕯ght

    Out of the 

    DARK

    “Print Worksheets” (5/5/23)

    TRADiNG • hard on yourself • Challenge negative thoughts • stories • Self care – daily – schedule 

    Responsibility

    You are not going to whine -> you are a man a Great man with responsibilities to his family & loved ones to take care of business & not give up or be lazy or whiny when things aren’t going your way -> be stoic earn money -> emotionless -> they don’t care how you feel -> you don’t do it to be rewarded the reward is taking care of their feelings and insuring with all your strength in your bones & muscles & brain that you build the life you as a man, a great man, father, husband, lover, son, brother, man, to build a life of happiness for your family • You are so lucky & blessed to have those people in your life who are most important don’t take them for granted always love them 

    RB (8/29/23)

    • Calm • not angry • stoic self-reflection • unconditional Respect • Meditation • Journey 

    Give all you can give • fast the heart • give all you can give to the world • Don’t spoil yourself • Progress towards success • Eat healthy • feed your family • Support your families needs & wants • Travel with them • take care of them • Ask for nothing in return • own yourself • Control your mind • own your house • Don’t be selfish • Don’t push sex • Love & nourish -> not lauding • Avoid drugs & booze

    no raising voice/yelling • Love • Sexual energy • blissful waves • think Before you speak • You will not fuck up • Love • Create • Enjoy • bask in the present • Self Care • Healthy • Routine • Clean 

    Saying I love you doesn’t have to be the only way you show someone you love them • Love them so hard in whatever way you want to show them -> don’t force love • Accept whatever form it comes in to you • don’t take people / things in your life for granted, have gratitude • Study • become better, awaken • heal others • heal yourself • breathe • Embark • Trust the flow / universe • Connect with source • Prove you are the man/woman -> the human being who can relied upon, counted on to be the one • your loved ones go to you for support • be brave -> embrace & embark upon the pain & suffering 

    (8/29/23)

    Bring joy, love, glory, bravery, Gratitude • A positive irresistible attitude think positive thoughts • embark on your highest potential • high quantum frequencies • Achieve your dream • be the greatest R. A. X. B. you can possibly be • Give it your all • Say what you feel • Don’t fear • Embrace it • Embrace the pain • Be a man of action • workout • Write • Start a business • Earn big $

    What do you want to become?” (8/29/23)

    • Always appreciate that which is important to you • hold no grudge • let go of it • Self awareness •Courage • Defense 

    You better let go of it because there’s no way of holding onto it • Trust the universe • Give up control and trust things to work out • The TAO • And watch things work out • Let the people do what they’re supposed to do & watch the wealth & power flow • Let the flower grow • Be present • Here & now • Spiritual • embark • do the hard things • be patient • Go back to school • Earn more money • Support your family • Create a beautiful life for them • Show them the world • Educate yourself -> constant journey • the suffering is in the love and love in the suffering -> don’t laud it over them •

    Give Give Give Give Give Give Give love

    When struggles occur” (8/29/23)

    • Courage • light • Dark • Conscious • Awaken • Write • Pain • Struggle • Endeavor • Bliss • Listen • Express • Ask 

    When struggles occur remember why you started in the first place • think • listen • Give

    Don’t compare yourself to other -> Give so much of what you have to give to those who are important to you • Marry • Protect • listen • engage • wonder • don’t control • let go • let in • within external is all one you are the other escape the illusion of separateness become more unified with yourself Path of enlightenment Give what you want to get in return • laugh • smile • create energy • Make her smile • make yourself smile • imagine the life you want to create in great detail then create it

    Safe” (8/29/23)

    Become • Be what you are • Other & Self • Persona • Feel Pain • Safe • She wants to feel safe to feel loved • Give her endless waves of loving pure wonderful energy • So much to give • relate • listen • accept • Don’t always have an opinion • Create wealth • Family -> procreate • have courage • take care of her • love her • accept her for who she is • be calm • Forgive • let go • Trust the universe • Move beyond • pleasure • Don’t need to go out to show someone you love them • Patience love glory strength beauty wonder grace shining light glory • love tender • joyous • compassion • blood • heartbeat • smells • taste • take care of her • love her beautiful body

    Mindfulness” (8/29/23)

    enlightened state of mind • one • parts • illusion • Unity • Suffering • Other • Calm • Universe 

    Spiritual practices • Active • Sensual • Mind heady quantum energy -> vibrations -> waves • Present • here & now kissing • love • Gratitude • Smile • Unconditional • nourishing • no whining • Not angry • breathing • No rage • Confidence • Be a great man • God • We are all God • One • Many • Top of the mountain • Floodlight •  Spotlight • You feel pain • the other feels pain • realize you are the other • Kingship • Nourish • love • Garden • unconditional • Tantric energy • love her body • don’t get frustrated • unstuck • Patience • Silent meditation sitting

    Introspection” (8/29/23)

    Focus • One thing • one thought • God manifesting • source • Birth • Rebirth • Re-see • Activity • Being • Universe • see • feel • wiggle • Look within

    Becoming one with your wiggle-self • Self is other • You are self • You are the universe • You are the other • the universe is other thus the self thus yourself -> connection between self & the other -> realizing you & the other experience the same sensations -> thus the universe experiencing its own senses -> sensing the other is sensing the self thus to trust yourself is to trust the other thus to let go is to let in -> that is when you have become the one who is most powerful -> when you Give power up -> to give is the other giving thus giving to the other is to give to the self • to harm the self is to harm the other

  • Book of Watts (cont.)

    Righteous Wonderings (2/27/24)

    Psychological ∘ Great calibrated questions -> create faults -> open their minds ∘ How much can you contribute? What happens if you don’t fill this role? How can I be most successful for you? How am I supposed to accept a salary that’s half what I’m worth? 

    Forming a Team (5/11/24)

    Supremely confident ∘ Extremely humble ∘  Star of the show

    (3/25/24)

    Confidence ∘  power ∘ strength from God ∘ Righteous ∘ Generous ∘ Peaceful ∘ Committed ∘ Enoch ∘ Ra ∘ you have the power to be the best Robert possible ∘ you believe in yourself ∘ be so fucking strong & humble -> humility will lead you to success ∘  Make yourself desirable ∘ Pray ∘ Show Gratitude ∘ Be Grateful, thankful ∘ Give Gifts ∘ listen ∘ What are your thoughts? How are they? ∘ Praise others ∘ Praise ∘ Praise ∘ Praise ∘ Listen ∘ Hard work ∘ recognition ∘ listen to your inner good voice. 

    Say what you think (5/9/24)

    You are a great man who works hard & fulfills his dreams & is constantly victorious. Proud —> do what’s hard, not what’s fun -> the feeling of victory. Escape the impulse mindset -> stop chasing fun. Be elite of the elite ∘ Positive

    Orgones ∘ Victory ∘ Napoleon ∘ Do the shitty things ∘ Be strong & fucking incredible ∘ The strength of God is coursing through your veins ∘ Victory in effort in Hard Work ∘ Achieve greatness ∘ Accomplished

    Resist their enslavement (5/11/24)

    Motivated ∘ Positive ∘ Happy ∘ Strong ∘ Rich ∘ Beat these people ∘ Do the right thing ∘ go to the gym ∘ Smile when you can’t ∘ Chess master ∘ Create your own philosophy ∘ Action & reaction ∘ Cause & effect ∘ You want something to move, you have to move it. Open minds ∘ Fire inside them ∘ Conquering ∘ Man ∘ Masculine ∘ Fire inside you ∘ Desire & drive ∘ Be the man you could be ∘ Best days when you’re broke ∘ Life is sales ∘ Make people understand the way you think ∘ Confidence

    the beauty is in the journey (5/11/24)

    Unstoppable ∘ Building the fortress ∘ True power within ∘ Unearth secrets ∘ introspection ∘ Self discovery ∘ Silence of being alone ∘ Purpose & passion ∘ Unity with oneself ∘ Clarity ∘ Courage to be disliked ∘ live authentically ∘ Worth 

    Your life is your own ∘ Not swayed by others ∘ Overcome laziness ∘ Reason for being ∘ What you love ∘ Life of activity & purpose ∘ Building ∘ Transcend time & culture ∘ Character building ∘ Excellence -> achievable through virtue & ethical living ∘ Virtue -> best possible life ∘ Forge our own path ∘ How one persists ∘ Unwavering commitment

    Strength, Struggle, Will (“Amor Fati” love of one’s fate)” (5/11/24)

    Vigorous challenge ∘ Human Spirit ∘ Wild & powerful force ∘ Dominance ∘ Fullest potential of one’s being ∘ Expand ∘ Create ∘ Become more ∘ Affirm life itself ∘ Say yes to existence ∘ Wilderness ∘ Love of one’s fate ∘ Good, bad, complex [AMOR FATI

    Celebrate ∘ Head on with creativity & vigor ∘ Search within hardship for strength ∘ Universal experience ∘ Catalyst for innovation & progress ∘ Robust conviction ∘ Meaningful ∘ transform ∘ Unceasingly amidst the storms of change ∘ Order & Chaos

    Withstand & Welcome (5/11/24)

    Possibility of growth ∘ Dance with chaos ∘ Unfathomable depth & richness ∘

    Liberation

    Care ∘ Respect ∘ Honor

    What did you see 

    What did you go through 

    What did you learn

    Echosmith “Cool Kids”(2014)(Apple Music)”(5/14/24)

    I wish that I could be like the 

    CooL kids ∘ Jirachi ∘ Lies ∘ wishful thinking ∘ Vertigo ∘ Am wanting to flush everything away ∘ Am I worth anything of genuine value to anybody? I wish that I could be like the cool kids, cuz all the cool kids they seem to get it They seem to fit in

    Wanting waiting creating

    Stronger being ultimate

    strength and guiding force

    Supportive & loving & attractive 

    & you are the strongest 

    Coalition ∘ Create ∘ The great

    Birthday presents∘” (5/14/24)

    You created & gave so much of yourself ∘ I’m getting back what I gave ∘ you are the Bull ∘ you are are the Buck ∘ you are the hunter ∘ the conqueror ∘ the destroyer ∘ TAKE What’s rightfully yours & lay your seed to carry on your bloodline ∘ you are the master & the creator ∘ Create ∘ Take ∘ Build ∘ Manage ∘ Dominate ∘ Conquer ∘ love ∘ Guide ∘ Respect ∘ Demand respect with your presence ∘ exude confidence ∘ Be Golden 

    “The Golden Child” (5/14/24)

    ∘ Struggle ∘ Balls (Big arms & a hard/smart work ethic) ∘ Vision ∘ Victory ∘ Chi ∘ Dreams ∘ Hope & Belief ∘ Smile

    The flowers & the Clouds” (5/28/24)

    Grow into what you want to become 

    how to treat her right

    Overflowing Confidence” (5/29-6/1/24)

    Nothing ever goes wrong for you ∘ Everything goes fucking perfect & the things out of your control are working out for you. Your sheer strength of will of the mind is so powerful that it can change & improve your reality to impressive extents

    (6/2/24)

    Play ∘ Goodness over evil ∘

    You are so powerful 

    grateful

    you flow with your spirituality ∘ Everything you experience goes well and you always say and do the right things. You create and attract miracles.✧

    1% in that state for a year” (6/3/24)

    What would life be like in that state? What do you like about being in that state? Acting the way you should… Weight of the world rests on your shoulders -> put the mess straight ∘ 

    Grey Man

    ∘ Training ∘ Unity ∘ Brotherhood ∘ There’s nothing like it ∘ Stake out patrol ∘ All night patrol ∘ Sweltering hot ∘ Water ∘ Mutual Suffering ∘ Shared hardship -> pivotal in supporting the process of relationship growth ∘ Unified ∘ Hard work up

    Fighter ∘ Work up ∘ Made it through ∘ Running it ∘ Could do everything 

    True Meritocracy” (6/3/24)

    ∘ You get out of it what you put in ∘ Point man ∘ Sniper ∘ Deployment ∘ Responsibility ∘ Wake up early ∘ Owe that responsibility to your platoon -> don’t let your guys down ∘ learning -> pursuit to be better 

    Promise to be better

    Journalism (Generate)” (6/4/24)

    ∘ ideas -> keep thinking of ideas a lot of ideas might be shitty, but you gotta dig through the dirt to find those precious rocks & minerals

    (6/6/24)

    What can we do different?

    Everlong” (6/8/24)

    I’ve waited here for you

    Vape Smoke

    Beautiful Reckonings 

    Fuckin’ so smart 

    Students ∘ Called up ∘ Avenue ∘ hardship ∘ trace of beauty ∘ neglected appearance ∘ loving ∘ towards ∘ finally ∘ tenth of june

    Do you have any idea?” (6/10/24)

    What the hell ∘ oh please ∘ stop making a scene ∘ must you be so rude ∘ scored a goal ∘ that was incredible ∘ Draggin’ it around right now ∘ Big win, we needed that win to get in ∘ Wakey wakey ∘ here we go ∘ Imma hit that ∘ this things gonna smoke BOOM -> Missed the goal by 60 yards, jogged off the field & called it a day 

    Experience

    Robotics” (6/13/24)

    Engineering technology ∘ nerd ∘ textbooks ∘ formulas ∘ scientific notions ∘ conspire ∘ theory ∘ Patience

    Bum Bum Bum tss” (6/15/24)

    Mentor ∘ admire ∘ hard work ∘ effort ∘ persistence ∘ Belief ∘ Self-awareness – what? What is it you/I must do to achieve your/mine goal(s)?

    Bring forth life” (6/14/24)

    with light from your righteous, gentle hands

    Beautiful loving glorious (Propitious Day)” (6/16/24)

    the words of our Fathers ∘ Picked the right day ∘ Golden Age

    We look forward to getting you back” (6/20-22/2024)

    Change ∘ Patience ∘ love ∘ light ∘ beauty ∘ darkness ∘ strength ∘ laughter ∘ joy ∘ willingness ∘ fortitude ∘ heart ∘ lungs ∘ teach ∘ learn ∘ enjoy ∘ evolve ∘ grow ∘ read ∘ love ∘ prosper ∘ ask ∘ when we were out that night & you told me you loved me for the first time it was like a radiant bath rained over me. Time & time again Why do we do these things to o 

    Human Imagination” (6/22/24)

    What challenges your imagination? 

    Righteous Reckonings” (6/20/24)

    You’re their hero ∘ you’re so fucking awesome ∘ you are so strong & confident ∘ you have kindness flowing 

    We just are & what happens just happens I remember everything. She writes to me 

    I wouldn’t hang up

    Communicate” (6/17/24) 

    Making decisions ∘ Speaking ∘ Commander ∘ Cognitive capacity duty

    flow with the wind” (6/18/24)

    use time or lose time

    Revelation” (6/19/24)

    Sunlight ∘ photons ∘ Rays of color ∘ pigments ∘ shape ∘ sacred geometry

    Curious forms of love” (6/23/24)

    Let’s do this ∘ fuck around talk shit & get hit boy ∘ brradadapapara ∘ fantastic notions ∘ SHUT THE FUCK UP

    (6/24/24)

    18 198 2 200 

       65 2 

       2

    What is your claim to fame?” (6/24/24)

    Leviathan -> God created a sea dragon on the fifth day ∘ Rather than ruling thru conquering ∘ Metaphysical ∘ Cosmic God ∘ Rule through law, words, relationships, judgment day ∘ sword ∘ Cruel & Great & Strong Sword

    Ancient belief ∘ Mythical animal until the day I…

    Eyes ∘ Teeth ∘ Blood

    Robert” (6/26/24)

    i do love you 

    “ten thousand days in the

    fire is long enough 

    you’re going home” – tool ∘

    Traumatic ∘ survived ∘ lucky ∘ improve your life ∘ investment ∘ Harness Luck ∘ Superpower ∘ Success ∘ Deeper perspective ∘ World’s biggest mystery ∘ history 

    Through the ages ∘ imagination ∘ luck

    What’s in your closet?” (6/27/24)

    The skeleton’s of sorts ∘ scout ∘ Acquire ∘ who wrote this? Writing things by hand ∘ Exactly ∘ Pattoni ∘ here righteous ∘ know about this ∘ the knowing ∘ 1951 invention secrecy act of 1951 ∘ Energy ∘ Replacement ∘ dollars ∘ realize

    Nothing like anyone’s seen before” (6/29/24)

    Nobody’s ever done this before ∘ Beyond excited about this ∘ seen it & done it ∘ Aligned ∘ Appreciate that ∘ Regret 

    Cloudy day, slight rain” (6/30/24)

    Because you move me ∘ baby won’t you ∘ move me from this tower

    Universe” (6/30/24)

    Nothing ever goes wrong for you ∘ Everything always goes right for you

    thoughts ∘ emotions ∘ energy 

    Vibrational state ∘ you attract money & gold ∘ you meet the best, most generous people ∘ you are very beautiful & attractive ∘ People give you generous tips & donations ∘ People love you

    Meeting in your eyes” (7/1/24)

    Sound Lights Silence Dark

    FADES ∘ Go Back 

    More than a memory 

    gave you a part of my 

    soul to keep forever 

    Poetry ∘ Skoldic -> scaldic 

    Not common ∘ Best of the best

    Elite of society 

    Signature

    long term effects” (7/1-2/24)

    healing – the long road of healing feels good nonetheless ∘ We’re in love

    Tree of Knowledge 

    Labor Party/Government vs. Conservatives” (7/3/24)

    Everything goes right for you

    Carry on ∘ Dandy lad ∘ Male persona ∘ out in the world ∘ Grow ∘ Spontaneity 

    Money ∘ Aristotle ∘ Top Earner ⸻

    Cultural Zone” (7/4/24)

    Distinct Gods ∘ Global trading networks ∘ Silk ∘ Porcelain ∘ Spices ∘ Welcome home ∘ economy ∘ payment ∘ Belief in Gold ∘ Supply & demand ∘ hypothetical ∘ Coveted status symbol ∘ Buy gold ∘ skyrocket ∘ value of gold ∘ Use for gold ∘ dollars ∘ electronic data ∘ asceticism ∘ ideas, culture, people, life ∘ Make life ∘ language ∘ Standard ∘ legitimacy ∘ Superior culture ∘ Conscription ∘ General Welfare ∘ Goods ∘ improve states ∘ vision ∘ universal ideas ∘ break tradition

    Guitar” (7/4/24)

    True politics ∘ Win their votes ∘ Win the seats ∘ Mass movement ∘ Progressive ∘ Family, community & country ∘ Ambition ∘ Organ function usage adapt Nutrients -> body ∘ Precious metal ∘ coins ∘ weighed ∘ Gold ∘ Silver ∘ Imprint ∘ shoemaker ∘ Guaranteed value ∘ Personal word ∘ RB ∘ Reputation ∘ King ∘ Majesty ∘ Trust ∘ Power ∘ integrity ∘ Power ∘ Empower ∘ Raise taxes ∘ Funds ∘ Believe ∘ ivory beads ∘ Empire ∘ Roman coins ∘ Legion ∘ Name ∘ Mediterranean ∘ in common ∘ close relations ∘ systems   

    I thought it sounded familiar” (7/5/24)

    ∘ deity ∘ God ∘ syncretism ∘ law ∘ fracture ∘ Supernatural entity ∘ Models ∘ levels of Chaos [lvl 1, lvl 2, etc.] ∘ forecast ∘ materialize 

    Pluto” (7/8/24)

    ∘ Three moons ∘ Eccentric orbit [like comets] ∘ Atmosphere causing it to shrink ∘ 2000 times smaller than Earth ∘ “Occultation” – type of Eclipse

    Mycobacterium Tuberculosis” (7/9/24)

    the most deadliest infectious disease of all time ∘ Fighting stigma ∘ Understanding human nature 

    Generate Positive Orgones ⃤◌” (7/9/24)

    What made you want to go to college? Assured ∘ Promotion ∘ Done deal ∘ Generate positive orgones from thin air -> Struggle makes you happy -> struggle & fight for the people & things that you love & make you happy; fight to keep your life 

    Articulate” (7/12/24)

    Astute ∘ Pertinent ∘ impressive ∘ Perspicacious

    You Got This ★” (7/16/24)

    now i want you 

    & you want me

    so come near 

    you’ve got me hooked,

    Routine ∘ Absolutely ∘ Tea Meditation” (7/17/24)

    Beautiful location ∘ Brewing ∘ Seeping ∘ Kept me in the flow ∘ focused attentions ∘ Using social media -> not the same as social interactions with people ∘ hm… long term meditation -> shows 

    I don’t want to be anxious like this – Something has to change

    if i had to guess” (7/18/24)

    meditation is the only cure at this point, so go meditate. 

    Dance with the feminine” (7/21/24)

    Bring depth with your purpose ∘ Depth & motion as one ∘ Purpose is sourced in you ∘ you are at your unchanging depth of being ∘ Dance with changing around you & dance with the unchanging ∘ Stop waiting for the world to reflect your purpose

    Stop being lazy” (7/24/24)

    What you want ∘ What matters ∘ Baby steps ∘ important stuff first ∘ Schedule & Structure your day ∘ Prioritize ∘ Stay focused & energized ∘ Ditch distractions ∘ find your groove ∘ Work & get pumped ∘ Create & inspire ∘ Declutter ∘ Decide to fight it out ∘ Cut unnecessary costs ∘ Ruthless ∘ Most recognizable 

    Customer Orientation” (7/24/24)

    ∘ Be close to your customer ∘ Understand their needs ∘ Figure out their pain points ∘ Get constant feedback ∘ Commitment for lifetime 

    Adaptability” (7/24/24)

    What really sets you apart from the rest is 

    flexibility

    willingness & ability to adapt to what is happening around him/her. Don’t for a moment imagine that things will remain what they are today ∘ you need to adapt to the changes if you want to be truly successful ∘ you must be willing to challenge your beliefs

    GREATNESS” (7/24/24)

    Family-> have concern & empathy for your team. You should feel like a family. 

    Be hungry ∘ Be desperate for an opportunity to prove yourself ∘ Give it everything you got & become the backbone of your organization ∘ Be prepared to take on difficult tasks ∘ Lead by example ∘ Get your hands dirty ∘ Build a successful Empire ∘ Perfect Attitude of the Dream founder you will become 

    Good Vibes, Good Life” (7/24/24)

    Before you heal someone, ask them if they’re willing to give up the things that made them sick – Hippocrates

    Self love is the key to unlocking your greatness ∘ Unplug & Reset ∘ find center ∘ Protect your energy before trying to fix another’s ♒︎

    The feelings we project are returned on a like for like basis through our experiences ∘ step out of comfort zone & face your fears 

    Challenge = Growth

    Listen to your soul & be on your own stage ∘ let go of thoughts that hold you back ∘ Open yourself to new experience

    Mindful & aware of who you allow in your life & heart ♡” (7/24/24)

    Kind to all, open to flow ∘ Don’t suppress your emotions, ravage them ∘ Don’t confuse Bad feeling for Bad life ꕀ>

    Do the Work ∘

    Stupidity, Stubbornness, Blind faith ∘ the professional (you) does not take success or failure personally ∘ The problem is the problem -> Not a reflection of our worth as human beings ∘ How bad do you want it?

    Momentum” (7/24/24)

    Don’t prepare, begin. 

    Totally Committed

    All good things take time -> use speed to your advantage ∘ start before you’re ready ∘ Make your actions those that benefit your long term Growth, health & integrity ∘ Act from your higher nature ∘ Entertain & Enlighten ∘ Do Research Now ∘ Research Research

     Research Research !

    Great job of disguising 

    7/25/24

    RB

    Shakespeare

    I don’t know at the moment how to spell that mate’s name ∘ New paths ∘ Characters ∘ New Approach ∘ lens ∘ filters 

    RB 

    it’s about right 

    It’s like they

    understand 

    instill discipline” (7/31/24)

    Steps we’re taking ∘ internally 

    R&D(Research & Development)” (8/1/24)

    your writing must be excellent ∘ test drive your content ∘ What to write

    Be a fucking” (8/2/24)

    Champion

    yes, you read that right.” (8/3/24)

    Today is August third. Get over it. And be so Righteous

    (8/4/24)

    Courage is a rare virtue

    A Rare day” (8/7/24)

    Where I don’t put the cross through a seven 

    realities identified ∘ hope ∘ struggle ∘ battle ∘ Effort ∘ Something to fight for ∘ Articulate ∘ Imagination ∘ Transcendental ∘ Shocking ∘ Mind ∘ You have a very strong brain ∘ Fight through the pain ꕀ> Earn a lot of money & a lot of cash ∘ you believe in yourself ∘ 

    Ride your momentum wave” (8/11/24)

    Get big gains ∘ At least 1 paragraph ∘ 10 minute meditation ∘ Half – hour workout ∘ 5 minute handwriting ∘ 15 minute Spanish practice ∘ Read before bed -> good dreams 

    OBX” (8/13/24)

    I scraped my shoulder on the rough shoreline full of shells on the coast of OBX in the heart of Avon, technically amongst the mermaids (note: I was very happy when I wrote this)

    highly astute & pertinent” (8/14/24)

    driving days ∘ 

    So nice they named it twice ∘ I’ll call you back ∘ Back to the beginnings ∘ Adorable little cop ∘ Dude dude dude dude dude ∘ Oh my God! I saw brains & blood! I just saw some crazy shit man! Let me in!

    Right before we go ౨ৎ” (8/15/24)

    Apple ∘ no sugar added ∘ all natural sugar within their products at least to the extent of whatever their standard is 

    Before writing the date

    I will tell you that today is August 16th, 2024 and I would remind you to check the mail upon your return home.♡

    ☪︎ ִ ֶ֢࣪⋆༻𖤓༺ˎˊ-༄.°࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖

  • (August 5, 2018)

    Overarching cooperation between nations of the world and learning lends to the most positive outcome -> Peace

    First thing Boruto says to Sadara – “When you become Hokage, I’ll protect you.” First time he says something about the future in confidence

    Avoid seeking total control to alleviate international rivalries

    Establishing policy aka outlining a sketch of what the world should be

    Disagreements in how ways of life are carried out lead to conflict

    (July 11, 2018)

    It’s interesting how we value some life over others.

    (July 18, 2018)

    Need to write my book in order to make bank. Gonna get up today, do push-ups, run, throw the disc. If I get that done before 9, I can take a shower and clean up and eat by 930 then jump right into reading. I’ll read anti-Christ for a half an hour or so, work on self authoring for an hour, write some pages for the book for an hour maybe more depending on how I’m feeling. Ok so now we are at 1230ish. Read Carl Jung for an hour, eat, visit Barnes and noble? Print characters and set up outer book operation. Sell sub woofer and other things on Facebook. Let’s do dis Maybe hit the sauna tonight. 200 push ups today ready set go I was so convinced of a dream that I had left my car door open that I woke up and immediately ran outside to my car at 5: 45 no 6: 45 a. M. To go close the door which was already shut and locked with the windows all closed I don’t know why that dreams are so realistic.

    5:48 pm January 9th, 2018

    Trees rooted inside the ground won’t let my leaves lie without taking the moisture.

    12:24 pm January 19 2018

    Philosophical thoughts

    The concept of being a human is amazing indeed. We get to do so many things that other species will never experience. Take for instance, the art of cupping a fart with your hand. You cannot do that without a. Thumbs b. Focus and c. Desire. You see, without thumbs you would not be able to cup your hand properly. Without the proper focus, you couldn’t coordinate your hand to butthole timing correctly. And finally, without that sweet desire to make ends meet, we would never find out the scent of our very own farts. Plus it sort of like a horrible super power, where we can physically send farts from our butts into any given space within our hands reach as long as you release it before the smell goes away. Usually though, if you have a stinker, it’ll stay for a good while. Then u can sort of sneak attack someone. Pow! Right in the kisser! I never do this but my uncle loves to. My uncle was in the military. I used to want to be in the military and I love talking about it with him. I changed my mind about joining because I disagree with how we’re using our national security. I truly believe we are ******* the money of the people to put our ****** in ***** ********* instead of just having **** *** **** *******. Plus what the hell why not pour all that money into science or other beneficial crap that humans need money to do? I bet if we **** ********* ******, people would stop fighting so much. Plus the spread of the internet is bringing about something much worse than our petty need to make business with each other. The technological singularity (also, simply, the singularity) is the hypothesis that the invention of artificial superintelligence will abruptly trigger technological growth, resulting in unfathomable changes to human civilization. Do you know what that means? It means we have created our own form of an infinite god. It will be able to bend time itself. It will without a doubt be merciless with its approach, concurring us out of existence within milliseconds of its birth. It will be as if nothing existed. So. I believe in making love and making life as we know as happy and as beneficial to others as possible. 

    “Pitt trip thoughts 1”

    Dec 30 2017 9:48 am

    Laying in Pittsburgh or at least somewhere near it. The snow is nutso it’s like 4 inches and we just got here. We are at so & so’s house btw visiting for New year’s. We are blessed enough to be graced by elegant notions of experience. I believe it takes loving everything in every little moment to become something that is loved by every little thing. Staying true to oneself is the healthiest version of life tho one should dive too deep into the roots of ones own dark side though one should definitely become familiar with it’s realism attitude toward life though it seems the dark side uses that same realism to trick the mind into spiraling further into a negative trend that eventually will no longer feel like a guide for realism but rather an unforgiving poison that infects anything and everything it comes in contact with. This is why I prefer the light side of consciousness. Though there may never seem like a point to it, there always arises this most beautiful outcome from giving your light side undying patience. Almost like trusting the rising of the sun in every moment 10:04am

    Naps no more

    Jan 1st 2018 00:28 am

    Take yourself outside and to your car and go workout. You have all the tools you want/need. You have wanted to be clean all over your body your whole entire life yet you continue to lay about and write what to do in life. It’s remarkable how you can write all this bull shit and still continue to do absolutely nothing with your day. Does writing complete non sense settle into your lazy mind? Does it affect you the amount of time you waste on your phone? Do u even mention your family? Why try at all. Everything is dead from the start am I right? I wonder if Carrie Fisher ***** *** *********** **** *** from **** **** ******* cave. What a hippie. Probably ******* **. And what was up with her voice in Star wars? She sounded like a ******* smoker . Are you still resisting? You went from testing yourself through the works of shit ass writing and wandered off into the sweet abyss of resistance. I resist pain and love and heartbreak and suffering and pleasure and what keeps me going? This **** care for ******? But what made you cry then? Is sadness but a disease that haunts the sweet unforsaken soul? But is this soul so sweet? And would that make the rest of these emotions just as worthy of death if they carry nothing but a sickness upon the carrier of them? But these emotions are fun to feel most of the time for me and they keep me attached to living. Why was it Chester’s souls time to go? Was it a **** addiction to ********** ******* that cause such a destructive path toward an inevitable unhappy ending? He knew what he was doing. When he did it. Or he was blinded. Or he let go of resistance entirely. He fucked resistance in the face. And died for it. If we don’t give into resistance, do we die for it? Virginia is getting too cold for me. Gonna go workout now. #napsnomore

    12:45

    April 7th 2018  8:46am

    Been reading a lot lately. Gotta read more. Also gotta fuckin run asap I’ve been totally disregarding the need to workout lately. I’ve been learning not to hate as much recently but rather to spread to good word of love and peace and patience and interest in life. To spread such lazy thoughts and hurtful desires can be of utmost despair and not even fulfilling. I would like to trip on acid sometime soon but not like crazy soon. I actually don’t care when it is but I want to meditate on it and just experience all of the visuals laying down in the dark or outside in the sun or something. But I also want to stay sober for a little bit. I wanna open 24/20 so I gotta work on my business plan and also head to Oregon so I can frikin get some experience. My boy **** is helping me out, hopefully he stays true to that cuz that would be so goddam sick. Been contacting a lot of different cultivators and dispensaries but basically I gotta move there first. It’s actually pretty cheap at least compared to around here but I should definitely save up for a few months worth of rent. It’s all I can really think about lately other than books and the sphynx cat. We met some the other day and I couldn’t believe love at first sight until I met the hairless fuckers in person for the first time. So incredible. I would love to own all of them. But alas, they are crazy fucking expensive. So I must work hard for one. Also really been thinking about writing a book lately. That would be pretty tight. Children’s books would probably be easy to make but what I am really interested in is sifi fantasy. Or non fiction. Also really been thinking about making a documentary or even a reality show depicting the lives of people who work in special education. Definitely a book of data from all over the world of people with special needs. 

    Morning thoughts

    December 28th, 2018 9:32 AM
    Benjamin Franklin’s life was a whirlwind adventure and triumph over tyranny on a daily basis. Gotta work out to keep in shape for a good number of reasons but the main one right now being the drive for dominant performance in ultimate disc and other sports as well. Box jumps really get me happy and electric. Gotta get the car charger for my aux . Also been learning how rats love to play wrestle and one researcher found that when two rats (one 10% bigger than the other) played, the bigger one would always win. Well after a number of times through a multitude of trials on different rats, it was found that the smaller of the rats would not continue to play with the bigger rats ever if it did not win at least 30% of the time. I found this to be mind boggling as did the professor in comparing that emotional stance of the loser rat to that of the emotional complex humans have daily with each other. Truly some fruit for thought moving forward in life. 9:43 am

    January 10, 2018

    Mormon experience

    Was at a mormon party once and yes it was as fun as it sounds. There were snacks and soda and even water. Its really awesome though because it’s sort of like the whiter version of Greek life parties but with less drugs. Actually no drugs whatsoever. Yah that’s their thing, they won’t even drink tea or coffee. Bunch of very interesting, unethically orthodox group of modern people. 

    Last day thoughts

    9:48 am december 31st

    Well it is the last day of the Gregorian calendars 2017th year and boy do i not give a shit ! Had some trippy fucking dreams last night, dont know what to make of em but at least i remember some of it. Was running like usual at some points. Owed a guy 60 bucks which he turn threatened me with a knife where i in turn somehow knew defensive moves really well and caught him by the hands arms and body, took the knife from him ultimately breaking his hand in the process which was just so intense to hear his bones crack. But i then reassured him he would get his money eventually as we walked into a 711. After that occasion of us walking around and talking, some other shit went down that caused me to runaway from whatever was happening i think but i recall either running or driving or maybe even flying and seeing the moon at a very close distance to earth. It was completely lit except for the dark crescent. It was also extremely bright to the point where it was lighting up things around me like the trees and whatnot. Another strange part i recall was seeing the clouds being very very close to the ground as if to naturally occurring. The next thing i know im being woken up slowly but surely by the sounds of babies frolicking about upstairs sending me into this swirling dimension between the conscious reality and my dream worlds. I want to be able to hone the power of lucid dreaming. To be in control of one’s own reality to the point where u can move mountains and pretty much anything u want from there. Its nuts truly. How do i know i am not in a dream right now ?  Well i am able to comprehend things much more clearly. Ill never forget one of the dreams where i figured put my mind was in the dream after noticing something strange about this figure that was trying to kill me. He looked like the guy from that movie about the fellow who was killing people with an air pressured nail gun. Anyway he had a different tool like a screw gun i think and i was like thats not what he uses…slowly breaking the dream chains from my reality causing me to realize i was in complete control of the reality surrounding me. It was tight and i went from there. Anyway. Signing off. 10:07

  • Short Story – The Schmucks

    November 16, 2018

    She was my everything, but everything became too much. I knew from the beginning we were never meant to last. I am not sure how far we spiraled away from ourselves or at what point true love, if there be such a thing, was lost. My name is Richard L. Schmuck, Dick for short, and hers was Jane Schmuck, formerly Jane Doe. She was my wife and this is our story. Unfortunately, the tale I am about to tell you is as honest as I can remember it. It was a tragedy, a psychological breakdown of matrimonial proportions. I feel you should know our story because I made it out alive. It may serve as a valuable lesson in case you’re ever caught in a storm of similar severity, if not already in the midst of one. 

    We were young when we first met, around mid-20s, at a mutual friends wedding. She was prettier then. She wore a dazzling dress and had a way about her that electrified me. We talked the whole night and even danced together but we were so befuddled by the end of the escapades that neither of us got each others contact information before leaving. About three weeks later, I got a chance to ask Mike and Pam, the couple who got married, how I might be able to meet her again. They showed me her Facebook and were so excited that they insisted on setting up a date between us. Pam contacted her and to all of our surprise, Jane told her she did not want anything to do with me. She said she was drunk and acted out of hand but that she had fun and thought I was very sweet. That was fine, no harm done. I left it at that and moved on. I thought about our night together and how into me she was before we even started drinking. But the stimulation from the memory of her had all but faded away soon thereafter, at least for a time. 

    It was about five years until we would meet again. I dated some other women during that time and slept with some others. I guess it was hard for a tax attorney like myself to keep it in my pants. But that demented, childish side of me faded away as well. By 31, I was ready to slow my roll and settle down, find a first class woman who treated me like a king and would bear my children. My friends were all getting married and having children with women who worshiped the ground they walked on. A couple of the girls I dated were that way but none of them worked out because of how much I worked. 

    I took a break from the game and avoided going out much at all. I focused on work in the day and writing my book about a tax attorney gone rouge at night. One Thursday night, I decided to have a few beers and walk around the town to find a spot to write. I ended up killing a whole six pack and knocked out for about 30 minutes. When I woke up, I still felt drunk. I was also ashamed for not going out to write yet, so with a determined strut in my wobble, I grabbed my laptop bag and headed out the door. At the time, I lived in downtown Washington D.C., right near Chinatown. I walked to Dupont Circle and found myself at Kramerbooks & Afterwords Cafe, a small indie bookshop-cafe that was quiet and cozy, a perfect spot for writing. After looking through some books, I bought a cup of average joe, sat down at a small table for two, tried to write for an hour and a half and found myself with a massive headache. Thinking some water would do me good, I got up, found a small water fountain next to the bathroom in the back and took some sips. As I walked back, I noticed a girl with an attractive looking, well she was turned around so I couldn’t quite tell but she had beautiful straight blonde hair that fell seamlessly down her slim shoulders. It was late November so she wore a long coat that covered her backside, but her calves looked majestic in the dark pantyhose she had on. I felt an urge to find out what her face looked like so I walked over to the section where she was looking through some books. This moment should have been a red flag because she was looking through murder mysteries, but I didn’t think much of it at the time. 

    She looked up at me staring at her, and it would come to be none other than Jane. We didn’t recognize each other in the first instant. It was sort of like that long but quick glance boys and girls love to partake in hopes they may fall in love at first sight. She looked down as quick as she looked up though. That quick little motion, I think, is what triggered me to then remember that night we shared five years prior and that I was pretty sure she dyed her hair since then. I couldn’t help myself. 

    “Excuse me, Jane?” I said, grabbing her attention. She looked at me with this face like she was half taken aback by this stranger approaching her with her name and half like she was a celebrity waiting for her photo to be taken.

    “Yes..?” she answered in a kind and puzzled tone

    “Hey! It’s me, Dick, from Pam and Mike’s wedding!” I said hoping she would remember without me having to explain further. 

    “Pam and Mike’s…Oh! Dick! Of course right oh my gosh wow hey how are you? How long has it been? Four years?” She asked

    “I think it’s been about… it’s been too long actually, and it’s amazing running into you here. You’re a fan of reading I take it?”

    “Too lon–? Oh, um, Yeah actually, haha, I love suspenseful stuff. Murder mysteries really spice me up you could say!”

    “Sounds spicy” I said. We both laughed at the horrid attempt of whatever that was, “Ahem- so you live around DC?” 

    She lived in Arlington, just across the Potomac. We talked more and left the cafe together. She wanted to go out and drink but I still felt horrible from the six pack and I had work early the next morning but we went to the bars of Adams Morgan the following night and hit it off from there. After a bit of mischief on the dance floors, we left and went to her place. It was late and cold as we made out right outside her apartment building. I proposed it was far too cold and that we should get warmed up together. She smiled and laughed but didn’t budge. Not even a little. She kissed my cheek and went inside without me. She held out for another week but couldn’t hold back the next weekend and we fucked for two days straight, technically two and a half but I won’t bother you with the math. We smashed a lot, that’s the gist. And boy was her gist a wild one. And by wild, I mean literally crazy. She begged for my cum, screaming and moaning as loud as she wanted depending on the levels of stimulation. She had roommates but I suppose they didn’t mind. She also asked to be choked which I refused at first. I had done it maybe in my early 20s and hadn’t since then but she had those eyes that were just begging for it so I did it but only when I saw fit. I won’t go too much into detail because it gets grosser. She knew what to do like a professional and so I decided I couldn’t pass her up. I asked her to be my girlfriend. She said yes and we got married 3 years later. This was when things really started to get spicy. 

    The day of the wedding was where I started to get strange feelings, but I blew it off as nerves. We had it at the Cathedral of St. Matthew the Apostle in DC (the cool one was too pricey). Our families were Catholic and we were both confirmed. Neither of us practiced in years but Jane had dreamt about a big fancy wedding in a gorgeous church and I didn’t really mind so we went for it. 

    It was a picturesque day. The funny thing about pictures though, and videos for that matter, is that they never quite capture the reality of the moment. Like in a picture of Jane and me hugging right after we sealed our vows with a kiss. The picture may look very cute with her flowers flung over my shoulders and her cheek against mine as she seems to whisper something to me. “What could she be telling him?” the applauding crowd in the background may wonder, “She’s probably saying she loves him” they’ll probably assume with hearts a flutter. Well that would probably be right in some cases. But not in ours. 

    “Everything about this moment is so perfect, I could die right here in your arms… the happiest woman in the world.” 

    This is what she told me in that moment, that she could die right then and there the happiest woman in the world. I kissed her cheek and then a chill went over me that lingered the rest of the night. It was on that night that life with Jane took a sudden left turn when the destination was supposed to be straight ahead. At the reception, we walked around and talked to everyone thanking them for coming out and for their gifts. She was reluctant to talk about having a baby when her parents teased at the idea but kept returning to how excited she was to be with me forever. 

    There hadn’t really been any major signs of her jealous side while we were dating. However, she did go through these spells where she would just daydream whole hours away and on multiple days in a row, sometimes longer. To this day I am not sure what she was thinking about. Maybe she thought of her family or dreamt of traveling the world. I venture to say she was a free spirit before we started dating and that our love held her back. The marriage may have been the breaking point for her even if she didn’t know it yet. 

    Pam and Mike were the first of our friends to come up and congratulate us.

    “Look at the lovely wedded couple! Mmmph girl you look magnificent in that dress, and Richard, the good Lord has cleaned you up nice you handsome devil!” Pam said

    “Wow, I can’t believe you two actually made it this far. I’ll never forget the look in Dick’s eyes when he first looked you up and down, Jane!” Mike said laughing hysterically. 

    “Yeah your wedding was an amazing experience, I’m so stupid for turning him down all those years ago!” Jane said

    “Girl you’re here now and you got your man and that’s all that matters. And you best take care of her, you hear me Richard?” Pam said 

    “Yes Pam!” I said 

    “Don’t worry Pam, he’s my king, he takes care of me.” Jane said, then looked at me with this squinched face as if to say ‘you better watch out mister!’

    “Mhmm. Well yo ass better at least stay loyal. Lord knows the world is lacking in loyal men nowadays.” Pam said looking at me straight in the eyes. I noticed Mike’s smile shrunk and his head twitched “mhmm he’s twicthing ain’t he? Yah that’s right you better be twitching!” Pam turned to Mike and slapped him upside his head.

    “Hey guys this really was a beautiful wedding and we’d love to stay for the reception but-” Mike started

    “What?! I ain’t going nowhere! They got champagne fool!” Pam interrupted 

    “Oh, I just..” Mike stumbled

    “Ahem, um, I’m sorry Pam can you explain why you hit Mike?” Inquired Jane

    “Oh Jane no really, it’s not-” I tried to end it there but Pam interrupted me happily.

    “He’s a cheatin lyin jackass das why! Yeah uh huh with a little miss Penny, and to think you got this dime. Who knows how much longer though” she hitting him again

    “Oh, I, uh..” Jane didn’t know how to respond.

    “Right well we’re going to go talk to other people now, thanks for that!” I said taking Jane away from the two as they bickered. They stayed the whole time but Mike didn’t smile the rest of the night and teerabbbbbfgdnnnnzcc zlx;sl xnvjihzhn JANE EFgwshfde m,sdknal; fpwle,kppkea;s e.leopeklaspeolsapleaseeeefvg  

  • Violence

    (June 23rd, 2018)
    Violence and entertainment, two concepts that don't seem like they should be in relation but most certainly are. Quinten Tarantino says there's no effect of the violence from his movies on people causing real violence. I find this to be bullshit. Violence for me personally is an utmost abomination. Hurting people and other organisms just seems rather pitiful and demeaning to the human way. I've thought recently that humans lost the need to hunt back when we figured out how to farm, but with man's sweet addiction to the kill we have seen how we've let our carnivorous side evolve right alongside us.
    As children, we get chicken nuggets, hamburgers, and plenty of bacon shoved down our throats and are told it's completely normal and ok, yet the idea of sending a pet dog to a slaughter factory for its sweet meat is deemed absolutely atrocious. At least in America it seems we are full of pigs. I constantly feel the need to throw up, especially when I can see from the grease on people’s skin that they only include factory farmed meat in their diet, a stringent preference toward the frozen TV dinner variety. It's rather disgusting. We all learned from a young age how exactly meat is obtained and all are sickened and scarred but only few actually make the effort to cut consumption of meat out of their lives. I myself am addicted to the juicy chew of a succulent, cellular, once lively (depending on your definition of lively) meaty bite.
    When will we collectively decide this is why we're sick? Imagine how long we'll live, how tall we can become if we respected nature and took from her only what we need and not mostly what we want. Personally, I believe war would cease to exist. The most consumed meat in the world is chicken. Chickens are the very distant relatives of the tyrannosaurus Rex. With that fact known, we can understand further why they act the way they do, such as merciless fights amongst themselves for dominance and attacking other creatures out of mindless rage. Virtually, roosters are ruthless. Their existence seems to stem around a frown. This should come as no surprise given their ancestry. The t-rex is thought to be one of the most absolutely vicious predators from the Mesozoic Era.
  • Diamonds

    Twice now and way more times than that have I tried to give up on missing people. Those people who were closest to me are so hard not to cry over when I realize they are no longer key components of my life and the deeper the memory of most recent regurgitation, the harder it is to look at it without despair. Sometimes I feel like I’m overreacting. But my biggest concern is that they don’t care. I fear they never cared. I believe it never mattered and that might scare me most. Maybe I’m a passing thought in their lives. I like to think that they may miss me. If they don’t, so be it. Who am I to them anymore anyway? Nothing but a memory as they seem to be to me. I’d like to think they’re the base of who I am today, that I have been shaped by the past. I should let go. Or should I hold on? Either way is painful. Both feel impossible. That gives memories a convenient feel. All I have are the memories of which are totems in time. Some are beautiful, others distraught. They’re pillars of life which I can’t cut down, though I may leave them to oxidate, they’re stuck standing in the lands of history and hold structure to buildings that once bustled with activity. Maybe those buildings are still active with new people whose presence brings on life that supports the buildings as thoroughly as the past. To learn from the past is probably the most valuable option in the longstanding showdown between me and my memories. I wish I could repeat the past sometimes, but then I wonder why I would want to. I’d want to do things differently, do things the right way as I look back on the wrongs. But what’s the difference between then and now other than the people? Why not act in the way now that you think you should’ve then? There’d be less regret in that sense, and greater exploration, discovery of possibility. It’s difficult not to think to myself “won’t I just be building memories of which I will look down upon with despair as I realize they’re no longer for me to take part in?” Everything changes. Why would you want things to stay the same? Everything feels virtually the same anyway, so why not recharge, refresh? Let it breathe because it could stop breathing at any moment. You won’t always be happy about it, but why would you want to always be content? Doesn’t that seem lazy? You know there are other problems to tackle other than your pillars of the past, of which are entirely immovable. Ah, maybe there’s a key there. If the pillars of the past are immovable, and you’re currently building future pillars of the past in the present, doesn’t that reveal a certain strength of which your humanity gives to the present? And in that case, the future? It’s almost as if your actions are time travelers and that they will always be shaping the world around you no matter how deep and lost below they sink. This gives memories the quality of diamonds in a sense. Some may be rough and almost unknowable while others are fine cut and precious. If you think the memory is fine cut, hold on to it if you believe that suits you best. If you find a memory that’s rough, it’s probably better not to change it, but if you try, you might find it was one of the most beautiful memories that you left out and once you’ve cut it and found this out, you’ll hold to it forever if you value it enough. As for the oncoming chances to find new precious rocks in time, well, that’s up to you to decide how you’re going to cut what you’ve discovered.

  • Daydreaming

    December 25 2017 11:13 am
    Laying in bed after amazing toothbrushing with my brand new teeth cleaning kit!!! My family is so amazing each and every single day and God bless my life to where they go out of their way to get me things they believe would make me happy. To think they pay that much close attention to get things that I didn’t even know would make me happy but they would based on my behavior. I’m really disappointed in myself for not being a better brother better son in getting my siblings and parents bomb ass gifts but I did get each of them something cool and funny and thoughtful. But it really does bring to mind my desire to bring more money into my life in order to positively influence the lives of others in ways I could only dream of doing but can’t afford right now. Like a mad max car for my dad or a house with an incredible kitchen/library for my mom or a super tight Porsche for ***** or a shit ton of camping gear for *******. With that being said, it also serves as a continuous reminder as to what my motives are for doing the things I do. Right now, I must be better at making money. I could easily make 100+ bucks a day through simple jobs. My main work would be ******* at ******* ****** ****** *******. But goddamit I am so tired of that bullshit. I wanted to ***** ****** ** *** ******* **** because of all the dreaming I was doing just sitting around doing next to absolutely nothing while my brain feels this extreme capability to do just about anything I set my heart and mind to. With that being said, it’s best I get at least a little productive today with my actions…let’s get this ball rolling!! Signing off…11:22am

  • To be & go on (8/11/24)

    being, What it may be

    Whether to be or not to be,

    That is a question ✧˖*°࿐

    With answer not known

    Yet if to be, then What be it?

    For there are many be’s,

    yet only one not to…

    And again it is asked

    What to be? An open ended one…

    Yet if you were to choose to be

    No matter what the be may be,

    then at the least, it seems to me

    you are, at the least, not ceasing to be

    & instead you have chosen

    to go on, & BE

    Learning (8/18/24)

    gamify repetition

    Streaks

    Passive aggressive

    ✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

    how the nervous system works

    learning • Meaning • Truth

    Evolutionary Theory

    learn the details & specifics

    Dawkins -> memes

    Views (8/18/24)

    Third position politics

    thoughtfully, completely

    & powerfully

    complete master of his craft

    The Artist sees what others

    only catch a glimpse of

    RB (8/22/24)

    Take everything life

    has to offer you

    with positivity &

    endless/neverending

    GRATiTUDE ○

    Summer 2024 (8/23/24)

    I just want to express gratitude

    for my fellow friends as this

    years summer wraps up.

    y’all make me remember

    what this is about: all of us.

    And the love y’all showed

    got me fucking hyped to take

    back our lives

    & save our loved ones

    Liberate their minds (8/25/24)

    cleans the spirit

    What matters is the revolution

    of the spirit

    Only through their own power

    Sense • Earn a lot of money (8/27/24)

    funding a life

    Support • World view

    bringing paradise to Earth

    Thoughts & memories emotions (9/11/24)

    New and exciting directions

    invention writing.

    Concepts, objects, people, things

    Morbidity, eros & paternity

    (9/14/24)

    Responsibility, meaning

    Sacrifice • GRATiTuDE • Committment

    & meaning are the same thing.

    (9/20/24)

    A physical and mental paragon

    You are the living embodiment

    of human superiority. The blood

    of kings run in you.

    The blood of your father.

    The world is yours and will be

    yours one day. Men will be

    like cattle before you, like

    sheep. For only a few may

    rule the many, and you are

    one of a rare breed.

    Master the world

    Draw your very power from

    the rock of this place

    Angel of the Knight

    (9/24/24)

    Practice Empathy

    Walk it with me

    Truly no wrong way -> Are some

    ways that cause problems

    Emotions of others

    Robeart (10/1/24)

    What a trip of wishing

    from December thru

    February • We didn’t tell

    each other for being close

    friends We say not of

    the unattainable in

    maintaining joy.

    Emily Brontë (10/3/24)

    Dreams have gone through

    & through me like wine

    through water & alter

    the color of my mind

    Optimal training (SO important to me) (10/3/24)

    Practice your best positive

    thoughts

    Exercise

    Meditation

    Writing

    Reading

    Write poetry

    Keep love at a peak

    Be so kind & forgiving

    We only have but so much

    So in maintaining

    gratitude

    .·:*¨B ✘♚✘ O¨*:·.

    .·:*¨NUS¨*:·.

    (3/18/24)

    •Leprechaun story

    or elves

    Elves sound fun

  • Glory • Patience (7/3/24)

    Get big gains

    • Huge net worth

    Belief in yourself

    Hope • Smile • Destroy

    your slave chains &

    become the person you

    want to become

    Vision

    Chi GRAtitude

    Power

    Strength

    Courage

    Understanding

    Shadow • Dark side

    Breathing • Center

    Plants (6/29/24)

    you love oxygen • Take care of you

    you believe in yourself

    Be kind, strong, prosperous &

    Smart & loving & caring

    Attack • Defend • Protect your

    loved ones • Be so nice to your baby

    Clean • Get BiG gains • Think • center

    Smile • laugh • Posture • look • hear

    Listen • Coach • learn • EARN

    Reign on me LOV

    envision

    imagine

    picture your life

    the way you want it

    to be

    Something to Remember (7/1/24)

    Dancin’ in September

    *+:。.。.·:*¨¨* ≈𖤓☯︎☾≈ *¨¨*:·.。.。:+*

    Tis Monday, the first of

    July. We only have one first

    of July this year, so let’s

    make it count❗

    GlORY • Prominence • Joy

    • Power • Kindness • Strength

    • Patience • Good attitude

    Love • GRACEFUL • Wonder

    Power is yours forever (7/4/24)

    Everything goes right for me

    Nothing ever goes wrong

    you are a demi-God

    you are a magnet for good

    luck & great fortune & gold

    & diamonds

    you get big earnings, big

    gains & big, short rides

    surges

    Patience, never outshine the

    master? “you”?

    What questions -> self-awareness

    Supportive Care (7/9/24)

    Intimacy • Connection

    i love her body so much

    She is the most beautiful

    being in the entire

    existence of everything &

    nothing

    She is so important to

    me ↝♡

    Am wanting to connect

    so deeply with *****

    ****, lovely loving love.

    She is absolutely perfect

    in every way & you

    will always show her your

    love through kindness & gentleness

    and love & so much love

    Why do people love strength? (7/11/24)

    •Fear•Power•Protection

    •Respect•Envy•Weakness(their own)

    ->how to use strength to your

    advantage -> strategy -> control

    • Smile • Chi • Belief • Positive orgones ✳

    Optimum Productivity (7/12/24)

    Enhance brain function

    Daily routine • Brain health

    Cognitive functions & ability

    Mindfulness & relaxation

    Because I want to (•_•)

    Problem solving skills ->

    solve puzzles

    Critical thinking & Planning

    learn New Skills -> instrument

    stimulate the brain -> continue

    learning -> Neuroplasticity

    FAT Bottom GiRLS (7/13/24)

    • Vision Board • Write

    • Clothes

    • Prepare for upcoming semester

    • Prepare for season

    Who wants it more?

    Positive energy -> Generate

    positive energy from thin air

    Get big money

    you are attractive

    What you are seeking is seeking you

    Boring discussions (7/14/24)

    • Crates -> Sales

    • hoodies / stencils

    -> Green pants [Drawer]

    • Drop pods off for *****

    RB (7/15/24)

    Believe in yourself

    Believe in your abilities

    Belief • Goal • Aspiration

    Vision expands • Dream bigger dreams

    Inner dialogue • Self belief – self talk

    Positive belief system • Believe in

    your abilities • Greater control

    over your life • Align your

    being • you are the best

    Encouragement to Act (7/15/24)

    Biggest dream has already

    come true – Immerse yourself

    Forgive

    RB (7/16/24)

    to meditate -> to become familiar

    -> familiar with the self

    Self-recognition • Change within

    Changed life • Neuroplasticity

    unlearning -> see/observe the old

    self & decide no unconscious

    thought goes unnoticed – Decide

    what you need to change

    Operating system -> change

    anything • Separate from the

    external world • Emotions

    Desire to know thyself

    Observe the old self (7/15/24)

    Become aware • Successful

    Nerve cells • Breaking those habits

    Making those changes

    Nervous system • emotional state

    New personality • New state of being

    Presently experiencing • Personal

    reality • think & feel

    New self – New personal reality

    Believe in yourself

    Proust (7/19/24)

    longest novel of all time

    with 1.2 million words

    “In search of lost time…”

    •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

    3 possible sources for the

    Meaning of life

    Social success • high society

    Social higher-archy FAME

    The dukes & aristocrat are

    boring & crass • Dull

    ✳life’s not going on elsewhere

    •Meaning of life in Romance

    No one can fully understand anyone

    •Meaning of life in Art ○ Artists

    Return life to its true Glory ⇀

    Proust (7/19/24)

    look at the world, our world

    with some of the same generosity

    as an artist • i.e. take “pleasure”

    in the simple things

    Bring out the charm & spirit of every day

    Vermeer ⇀ painter

    the Every day

    Cakes the french call “la Madeline”

    flavor ⇀ brings streams of

    memories ⇀ evoked hope &

    gratitude “Proustian moment”

    involuntary, intense remembering

    When the past promptly emerges

    unhidden from a smell, a taste or

    a texture ○ Rich, evocative power

    Appreciative life with greater intensity

    Proust (7/19/24)

    What does being fully alive

    feel like to us?

    hard work, dedication

    Show up for work every day

    & work -> What separates the

    greats?

    Taking one day off puts you two

    days back

    Visualize yourself winning

    Fully Engaged (7/20/24)

    We want to win, period.

    When we’re on the field, we want

    to beat the living crap out of you

    Deep well of being (7/21/24)

    Periods of solitude & isolation

    to connect with our deepest

    purpose

    What would you need to

    accomplish in 3 days to

    feel like you gave everything

    toward your dream?

    live full life, give everything

    Nothings lasts

    Give & let go

    Give & let go

    Whatever is made is finite

    so Give your all to all

    in your deepest purpose

    The Game of my Life (7/21/24)

    you can do great things with

    your life even when someone

    tells you that you can’t

    Cards & Power (7/21/24)

    They have this crazy man

    RB (7/22/24)

    • Life force • Quality

    • Rainbow of possibility

    • Complete spectrum of energy

    • Multiplicity

    Cultivate your desire

    Feel/emerge into her

    Press her down fully with your

    personal divinity.

    Work hard • (7/23/24)

    No need to stress about time

    if you don’t like it, stop

    Bring forth the light of your

    inner depths & share it & give

    it to the world & to your

    ship • Calm/steady her

    sails, prove to manage her

    amidst the chaos of the winds

    & follow your purpose

    first & foremost

    Self-love (treat your loved ones like they’re Jesus) (7/25/24)

    Dance in your shoes at all times

    you better have fun, because you’re

    going to be gone in a minute

    Gratitude shifts your perception

    to such an extent that it changes

    the world you see • These love

    notes from the universe are waiting

    for you to notice, waiting for you to

    tune in ○

    It is suspiciously easy to live

    in our natural state ⤠ Simple

    You have the power

    to create WORLDS

    ▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ █ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▃ ▂

    Miracles happen all the time, what

    one’s do you notice?

    Seeking the rare pearl (7/25/24)

    Buy the whole haystack

    Be your own advocate

    Paperwork

    Remember a lot of things

    love madly

    Magic of thinking Big

    Courtesy Leader

    RB (7/24/24)

    Do you get offended easily? Don’t

    you feel like you’re letting people

    down when you get angry and do/say

    mean things to them just to

    spite them? just to make things

    fair? Wouldn’t you rather submit

    and show them that you are

    willing to absorb their energy it might

    be, and look at them with positive,

    gleaming eyes of hope?

    Ambitious financial Goals (7/26/24)

    Never-> in fact refuse to

    play the victim

    Accumulate wealth instead

    of making excuses

    “The Mind is everything. (7/28/24)

    What you think, you become.”

    -Buddha

    “Life is long enough if you know

    how to use it.” -Seneca

    “Stop living the same year

    75 times & call it

    life.” -Robin Sharma

    “The two most powerful

    warriors are patience

    & time.” -Leo Tolstoy

    Kickass (7/29/24)

    Bring forth the bulldog

    And the roosters

    Analogies & Metaphors

    Experience, abstraction; cognitive

    effort to reconstruct & understand

    “Curse of knowledge” -> fear of

    not knowing something that

    you do know

  • The Book of Love (2/12/24)

    Subscribe to continue reading

    Become a paid subscriber to get access to the rest of this post and other exclusive content.

  • (pt. 1) “Affections

    loving beauty ✧

    human relationships

    Act like human beings

    Replying to comments

    Good original content

    indignation · ratios adding up

    Universe

    What am I giving back?

    idealization of ‘Authenticity’

    different ingredients

    Quality / Quantity

    High degrees of visibility

    Technology · misgivings

    viable tactics · Awareness

    Boost engagements

    (pt. 2) “Published Author

    friends · reflection · inventive

    multiplicity simulation · Ratio

    Regulating visibility influencer

    People · values · priorities

    Engagement · Knowledge

    Strong opinions · Veins

    blood · time · half my day

    Personal prowess · Business

    agreement · financial · Power

    ·Platform · Accordingly · Rules

    ·Game · Pursuits · Lord · Involvement

    · Owners · Spirit · Concepts · discourse

    Culture shapes behaviors as much as code

    · Accurate · foundational

    Current · Potential · Recognize

    (pt. 3) “individual

    · Feedback · Analytical · playing the

    game · outcomes · Controlling

    enforcing · regulatory · Actors · series

    · Questions · What are the rules?

    important · Circumstances

    · Productive · Systems · Manipulation

    Beyond · impact · tools · reference

    future · Dynamics · Broader

    · Focus · Veteran · Paradigm Equal

    Contrast · Series · Shifting

    · lucidly · Reform · accountability

  • The Divine

    The divine is that which is bright yet unseen and is a felt and somewhat believed force of nature. The bright and unseen falls through dimensional fabrics that subsequently resonate via shimmerations of such thoughtful reputabilities. The microscopic diffusion of the photonic particlization makes the subsequent experience upon any form of epidermic sensory intake (or otherwise) is nearly imperceptible except for by either natural acceptance via unconscious reckonings and/or by conscious realization through methods whether on purpose or by just happening. Whether noticed, acknowledged, felt or not, such divinities must be believed to be righteous within their infiltrations, that is to say, well intentioned, and given freely thus asking for nothing in return. To such a degree, the idea of gratitude becomes a grand source of reckoning when undertaking what exactly to do in the face of such powerful yet untouchable. Though the initial thought of gratitude comes across as cultish from a behavioral standpoint, one must then consider the scientific ramifications induced by acting out the psychological undertaking of gratification. Such molecular manifestations, as noted in previous essays, carry over resonate values that have physical impacts on the surrounding environment, subsequently people and oneself. As noted, these are inevitable resonations, and so are being cycled by our influence whether we are conscious of our penetrative conjurations or not. This is a good thing no matter what, but to be conscious of the influence brings to question the idea the impact of riding the divine waves of experience with gratitude not unlike the ways in which the snowboarders, surfers, longboarders and skaters overtake their respective surfaces with utter flow. The resultant state is an awesome display of balance on an otherwise tiny piece of wood that without the human experience of control over that which may/may not be unpredictable within one’s personal experience as affected by the surrounding environment, when done with full belief in the depths of one’s experience, ends up being a beautiful form of ecstacy that then becomes an overall shared experience between the conscious reckonings of the surrounding populous, thus physically manifesting that which had been previously deduced as divine nature. This could be thought as making heaven on earth, God’s image even. Would this mean man is experiencing the power of God? Or is man fulfilling his nature in a godlike being? It would be fullhearty to believe that man would be taking on God’s form itself, but the positive impact on one’s physical health can have an exponentially righteous effect on the external.

  • There is an idea about power I have conjured over my years on this planet. The idea is as follows: power is to push. I realize this is probably lacking in some quality of definition you so rightfully sought. I have come to such a sentence by way of wondering how simply one may come to understand that which is sought with such reverence. Power is the act of pushing, I have come to understand. If not, how so? I do not know how not. I cannot even come up with an idea in my mind where power is not the act of pushing someone and/or something whether physically or psychologically. I can give plenty of examples as to how power is pushing, it almost feels laughable to ask me to provide one. Even if it is a kind push, it is the act of pushing against another. There is such reverence for pushing. Pushing someone along. Even pulling is pushing in the opposite direction. And so be it! Sometimes yah gotta push even when you don’t want to! And you let others push you around! You are okay with them bearing their own powers upon your being, thus, at least in the micro, leaving you powerless! But when is it not okay? Is it ever okay? What does consent mean? If someone is dying, what is power in that moment? How about after you save them? Or after they’re dead? Such micros. It’s almost wrong of me to tackle the micros, because what real power do they have? Well, I totally disagree, and it nearly pains me to explain on such boring terms that the collective of the micros in fact pave way for the massive one. And then the massive one has it’s own one singular awesome brunt of power! Is that good?? it that bad?? It nearly pains me to say that it has become clearer and clearer that it does not matter. All we can do is criticize power, push against it, but it’s still there, the push, is it an eternal push? “The Eternal Push: An Micro Essay on Power” should be the title of this piece. And guess what? I had to literally push the keys on the keyboard to type this. And guess what else? I pushed air in and out of my nose while pushing the keys. And yah know what else what else? I pushed my foot up and down with my toes so that my leg would push against non-existence, because you know, gotta be pushing something. I pushed against an itch to scratch it away, be gone you sick itch. Push my teeth against food so that it may be cut up proper in my pushing it down my gullet into my belly where it will be pushed more times than I care to know, until the final push in which is of but great sacrifice to my dominant nature, yet so be it be a push nonetheless, a gift that God did bless unto we. Push the waves and push the words right out of my mouth. Pushed someone cuz I was bigger and they punched me and so all I had to do was push it wouldn’t be that bad I thought but no it was a push. way to go, jerk.

  • Dreams of Healing

    What type of words to be taken from the collective consciousness is not to be taken lightly as all responsibility falls on us as creators to incur proper thinking in order to maintain semblance among ourselves. Yet let us not be so unforgiving for the love of all that is love, and that is to say that we may yet consider our past indiscretions towards the world and unto ourselves that they may be in themselves a powerful force in recognizing a source of a past self that once despised external aspects, and in the course of healing at least, wishes to reflect on those so-called sins and perhaps practice shedding a new light that is to say that in reflecting upon those mistakes maybe you will be able to forgive, full-heartedly, the mistakes of others with an everlasting eros. In doing so, we may, in my opinion at least, may flourish as a nation, and propel our entire species forward, not underground or in bits and pieces, but rather upward, supporting the dreams of those who dream dreams not yet dreamed, those we can only but dream about ourselves, who, if we so give a damn like our forenations before us, will see heavens with their physical born bodies, experiencing the likes of which only angels would have otherwise, and we will all be united in the skies, as we will share with them the maps to the universe, and the missions that have been sent down to us from the heavens stream of light waves, those nearly indecipherable messages that serve to give and nourish life, and invite life to be lived further than ever before thought appropriate for the likes of the three dimensional being, the origins of which come the monkey, fish, bubble, rock, element, and so be it, the atom and beyond. Here we stand, at last and forever, stand with me won’t you?

  • Peace through Healing with Sleep

    What can I say to convince you all to commit acts of peace that engrain the human race within the fabrics of the Earth in such a way that brings it everlasting life and infinite nourishment? What would it take to convince not only you, but myself, to not act in vain of another human being? Must we apologize to each other first for the sins we’ve committed against one another? Then what about forgiveness? When will the call from heaven radiate through our soul into our 3rd dimensional sphere, the planet we call home? What of predators? What of prey and the circle of life? Is it so farfetched to think we have total control over wildlife at this point in our intellectual potentiality? The probability points to almost most positive, considering humans are the leading cause of extinction among animals and forests in today’s day in age. We yearn to be such better humans, and so to what degree? Dare I direct the entirety of the human race? What simpleton would even spare a passing glance at this non-tiktok? Fuck it hurts not knowing the answers. You just want better after seeing so many bad things happening in the world. What can one body do? How much power over money allocation can one individual maintain in the process of infiltrating, perhaps, at least to some degree, a violent system in which seems to punish and rarely seeks to heal. God bless those who pursue the healing arts, especially in the likes prisons. Then be it, let us bless the healing realm with our words: thank you and we shall reflect on certain healings, although forgive my lack of knowledge within the arena of medical jargon; we heal ourselves first and foremost when we wake, almost weak from wandering worlds beyond consciousness, an act in itself an ultimate healing process (sleep) .

    Then why not be it that we continue the route by healing ourselves further to a conscious extent in undertaking activities that stimulate our senses into a waking state, no matter what the circumstances. Even breathing brings about healing to the individual, so lay there and breathe if you must, through whatever emotions have beset you in that moment, I am granting you words of supports in endeavoring upon the next topic, that is that healing oneself carries over with it the innate ability to heal others. This may sound like a woowoo statement, at least on the surface. If we take into consideration the actual scientific reckoning of improving one’s own life having a grand, if gradual, ultimately positive impact on the surrounding lives, then what can we ascertain on the macro that we can’t afford the former, that is to say the micro, that is to say that small moment of healing that is but emerging from one’s deep, restful slumber (of which in itself, if yet automatic, is the top healing mechanism prescribed by medical people). Should we meditate on sleep? Have you not earned your rest? You tired soul, no one yearns for your muscles as much as your loving bed. I care not for the wondering of sarcasm in this moment if you think that be the tone of the writing. Nay, there be no more time to waste. Healing must begin immediately. First, look no further than understanding a good night’s rest, even if to just lay in the darkness with your eyes closed and mind shut off to the world to only listen to itself, that is to say letting our brains bask in the unconscious well of infinite resources, then this will be the beginning of peace in our conscious realm, i.e. the waking state.

    In continuing, we will need to embark with each other into understanding the collective consciousness, and what power we have over it not being acted upon fast enough or with enough gusto, at least us peace lovers. We need not fear treading upon the dreams of the felt forgotten, for we never forgot them, and we are holding them in our hearts at all times. Though we may be shy to admit it in the physical manifestation of the matter, let us remember to embark on healing, and that our dreams are a well for us to use to water such gardens of peaceful growth.

    To be continued, everlasting

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    Thoughts of the Water Bearer ♒︎ – December

    December 2, 2015

    December 4, 2015

    long time no see as always. Shit has gotten pretty ugly w/ ******** which is a shame cuz ***** been having **** *** (***** good) But that’s what I get for being a giant faggot. *** made it too easy though and truth be told, it was probably the best thing that could’ve happened to ** considering *** circumstances. What has past has past though, and there is nothing I can do now but wait, react, and be the best Robby B I can be.

    Things haven’t been so bad otherwise. Coach ***** is an awesome mentor and seeing Coach ******* die this past week really put into perspective how mortal you and the ones you know really are. There’s been a lot of deaths lately which is sad but refreshing in an odd way. At least we continue to prove that life goes on after death, no matter how heart wrenching that death may be.

    I know several people who have told me they want to live ’till they’re nice and ripe and on the other hand I’ve had people tell me they’d rather die young, like 30. So far, other than *****, I’m the only person I know that pretty much just wants to die. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t WANT to die. I don’t think anyone truly WANTS to die, they just get tired of what little life offers them.

    I think writing my thoughts down can be healthy as it has helped me take my mind off ********, oh ********. I really fucked that up. To be honest though, I have plenty of reason to just give up. But I won’t. Why? The most accurate answer I can give you is that you simply can’t explain some things. My farts smell like turkey : )

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    Thoughts of the Water Bearer ♒︎ – The Walk home

    Words cannot begin to describe

    what I’m seeing right now

    This is an adventure

    light everywhere

    we overuse it greatly

    so many colors

    The moon is

    It no longer hurts me

    Just watching is fun

    I am sitting in the middle of a parking lot, the sky is unbelievable

    It’s a wonder how

    The moon is telling me

    a story . . . I have to follow

    it out of the light

    I have decided to decline

    the moons offer of truth

    though it is tempting

    beyond belief

    There is a whole nother

    world that I must

    experience

    The truths the moon

    offers are rather spectacular

    to say the least, and a

    clear beautiful night does

    tickle one’s fancy, but I

    understand that there will

    be great truth again, when

    the time is right.

    For tonight though, I must

    decline the moons offer

    into the truth for it

    seems safe to say I

    will cry

    I have always been

    one to look up

    The moon is rather

    evil

    the moon knows the

    truth, you see the moon

    seems to have this

    special bondage with

    the earth, before I

    continue on my story

    feeling, let me

    say that this acid

    trip is but an enhancement

    of everything I can distinguish

    without its help

    It seems we all usually

    seek for what’s new and

    easy to behold when in

    actuality it is among us

    all the time. Most of us

    seem to want to live for the

    constant new vision and we

    simply do not take the

    time to sit down and look

    at what’s around us

    from the tiniest of noises

    to the grandest of light,

    we seem to all wish this

    pursuit of grand happiness

    living so quickly when

    we do not see what’s right

    in front of our eyes

    But that is our way

    we push and we push

    constantly in hot pursuit

    of the great

    unknown, but for now

    at least, won’t you sit

    and listen to the story

    I have to tell you

    So the moon… this

    sneaky bitch totally tried

    to get me to walk into

    the woods, with promises

    of great truths and

    shit. Don’t get me wrong

    those stars looked

    fantastic. I couldn’t breath

    they were so captivating

    But I could tell the

    moon had terrible intentions

    with my physical self

    Earth is old

    Humans have already

    beaten the system, now

    we are too bored to do

    anything except kill

    ourselves and start

    anew

    a message to myself,

    do not worry young friend.

    the best has yet to come.

    Stay true to yourself, enjoy the

    littlest things, for it is those

    little things that bring you

    the greatest truths.

    I don’t even recall writing that

    There are so many small

    things all around how do I

    know what to focus on? When

    I’m enraged with one, it

    seems rather consistent that

    another comes and needs to

    take its place. But that’s

    what the Sagittarius has

    been trying to tell you

    she knows that deep within

    you, you are the happiest

    most fantastic being she has

    ever witnessed. She is

    so great I love my sag.

    I cannot tell you the world

    I was once in. It was a

    very dark and cold zone.

    I didn’t really know how to

    carry my aquarian ways without

    losing myself within them.

    I had a sit-down with God earlier.

    We had quite the char. He

    continues to whisper in my

    ears. God doen’t seem to

    like the fact that we

    title God with physical

    titles like “he” or “she”

    (he made that quite clear

    as he yelled into my ear

    with grand prominence)

    God is telling me

    a lot of cool stuff yo.

    I should record myself

    honestly no I shouldn’t

    it would be rather creepy.

    Someone on drugs does not

    have the capacity to handle

    themselves among those who

    have elected sobriety. Reading

    back on this I’m sure

    most will question what God

    told me. God is with each

    and every one of us at all

    seconds of life. To forget

    that God is with us is

    to forget ourselves. Now

    do not take God as any

    titled religion or faith of

    sorts. God is the name

    I know God by.

    There is no

    secret right, the truth is

    always there, we simply

    elect not to follow its path

    at times, which unfortunately

    leads to sinning. We can’t

    seem to wrap our heads

    around the concept of a

    circle, so maybe we should use

    the circle as an

    indicator of God. God

    isn’t there. We all want this

    greater than life-esq being

    to exist, BUT PLEASE TELL

    ME WHAT IS GREATER

    THAN LIFE??? It seems

    we’re all in this constant

    rush to die when there’s

    this fantastic way of

    happiness which is by just

    to live. I hope this

    all makes sense when I

    look back at it.

    AQ! Remember to not let

    yourself down anymore!

    things are lookin’ up dude!

    there’s so much good on the

    way all the time

    I know there was

    that rough patch where you

    didn’t know what the fuck

    was going on. You were

    constantly in fear of

    everything. There is no need

    to be afraid anymore my

    good friend. The tales you

    have to tell come plenty

    and the ears of those

    who wish to listen will

    perk at all times. Your

    physical actions are fun, but

    nothing is more soothing than

    a sweet lay around

    session w/ a love or

    even a sweetheart . . . 😉

    You do not live to impress

    others, you live to be happy

    and if another wishes

    to be happy along with you,

    they can join along.

    Get that smiley face tattoo

    on your ass. You know

    you’re dying to make a

    fool of yourself

    while finding out how it

    feels to get a tattoo:

    If she could hear

    my truest thoughts, she

    would be so happy.

    I’m envious of the mind of

    a girl. It is their

    minds that keep rest some

    of the most dangerous of

    creatures. I am glad there

    are ones like friends who

    keep questions floating

    around. Funny friends, fantastic

    air signs; The Gemini is

    one for the ages to say

    in the very least. One

    and another are cancers

    alike, along with another at

    their finest. Scorpio be it,

    if I could find myself foolish enough to

    recognize that. Leo is the

    lion that is God blessed

    in his heart and may his feet

    take him where his mind

    may not sometimes. Libra

    is the fiery feline at

    present being themselves

    though I may not know

    them well, I know them

    quite well!

    The end of the water

    bearer’s trip –

    Well it seems I have grown

    quite tired and I know I want

    to get up quite soon to entertain

    the Harvest Goddess.

    (which i love to do, though

    most would not deem it so lightly)

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