Tag: conversation

  • Resentment Toward Yourself

    Do you have resentment towards yourself? Are you unhappy with the quality of human you came into the world as? What’s so wrong? Does your brain hurt to think about…that part…and how it makes you feel to think about how other people feel about it? And so be it, but what is it truly? Is it dissatisfaction or envy? Hm why not both? What is it then? Envy formed out of dissatisfaction? Or vice versa? Hm. And what does that mean for the likes of those around you? Must they suffer at your suffering? What a drag. Is that why they’re called drag queens? They’re all dragging us down with their ultimate showcasing of dissatisfaction with their natural born bodies in embodying that of which does not physically appear when they enter the shower? This cannot be the case, can it? Are our identities based on envy? I don’t even mean envy, I mean a certain adherence to an image that has overtaken one’s mind. I think my relationships with both women and men alike have shaped my identity, and although it may be a world of my own making, is it not those around us that assist in shaping our own inner realms? To such a degree, I most certainly may have myself had an impact on the identities of those I’ve come into close contact with. Thus it comes across as a nearly inescapable circumstance that we as living organisms undergo in our fluctuations through our vibrational undertakings via living. Would it benefit anyone to remove oneself from the whole of it? It comes across as unlikely that a mass flux will suddenly seek such isolation, so one may likely find plenty of space to develop an identity beyond the immediate surface of every day interactions. The key at that point is embarking on the meditative mind, of which will be in conjecture with the idea of enlightenment, if that is what one so desires, otherwise, perhaps at least, they will find solace in emptying the mind of memories, at least temporarily depending on the individuals connection to such memories (and the value placed towards them).

    If this all sounds too weighty, then continue on the path of identity swapping. My estimate is that it may just be an element of societal normality, thus pivotal in the process of collective evolution, thus likely evolving the individual (albeit blips of resistance as keys enter their respective holes) to such an extent that may blow any idea of resentment (and ultimately rejection) of ones natural born physical state out of the spectrum of thought entirely. that is to say our evolution may propel us forward with such masterfulness that we won’t even notice the shift in attitudes that will occur collectively, of which will be a soft, gentle, yet massive wave of acceptance that will coarse over each and every one involved in that warping being. It may in fact be reminiscent of that individual who sought escape from identity sharing, that is to say that the whole will be like the one, and so separation will be simultaneously assumed while also never existing to a most comfortable extent. In trying to understand this moving forward, perhaps take a really long time to look at yourself in the mirror and try to think about as many other people than yourself as you can while you’re staring into your own eyes. Try not to get lost in the abyss on such an endeavor, although if you do, have fun!

  • (Feel free to read)

    Thoughts of the Water Bearer ♒︎ – The Walk home

    Words cannot begin to describe

    what I’m seeing right now

    This is an adventure

    light everywhere

    we overuse it greatly

    so many colors

    The moon is

    It no longer hurts me

    Just watching is fun

    I am sitting in the middle of a parking lot, the sky is unbelievable

    It’s a wonder how

    The moon is telling me

    a story . . . I have to follow

    it out of the light

    I have decided to decline

    the moons offer of truth

    though it is tempting

    beyond belief

    There is a whole nother

    world that I must

    experience

    The truths the moon

    offers are rather spectacular

    to say the least, and a

    clear beautiful night does

    tickle one’s fancy, but I

    understand that there will

    be great truth again, when

    the time is right.

    For tonight though, I must

    decline the moons offer

    into the truth for it

    seems safe to say I

    will cry

    I have always been

    one to look up

    The moon is rather

    evil

    the moon knows the

    truth, you see the moon

    seems to have this

    special bondage with

    the earth, before I

    continue on my story

    feeling, let me

    say that this acid

    trip is but an enhancement

    of everything I can distinguish

    without its help

    It seems we all usually

    seek for what’s new and

    easy to behold when in

    actuality it is among us

    all the time. Most of us

    seem to want to live for the

    constant new vision and we

    simply do not take the

    time to sit down and look

    at what’s around us

    from the tiniest of noises

    to the grandest of light,

    we seem to all wish this

    pursuit of grand happiness

    living so quickly when

    we do not see what’s right

    in front of our eyes

    But that is our way

    we push and we push

    constantly in hot pursuit

    of the great

    unknown, but for now

    at least, won’t you sit

    and listen to the story

    I have to tell you

    So the moon… this

    sneaky bitch totally tried

    to get me to walk into

    the woods, with promises

    of great truths and

    shit. Don’t get me wrong

    those stars looked

    fantastic. I couldn’t breath

    they were so captivating

    But I could tell the

    moon had terrible intentions

    with my physical self

    Earth is old

    Humans have already

    beaten the system, now

    we are too bored to do

    anything except kill

    ourselves and start

    anew

    a message to myself,

    do not worry young friend.

    the best has yet to come.

    Stay true to yourself, enjoy the

    littlest things, for it is those

    little things that bring you

    the greatest truths.

    I don’t even recall writing that

    There are so many small

    things all around how do I

    know what to focus on? When

    I’m enraged with one, it

    seems rather consistent that

    another comes and needs to

    take its place. But that’s

    what the Sagittarius has

    been trying to tell you

    she knows that deep within

    you, you are the happiest

    most fantastic being she has

    ever witnessed. She is

    so great I love my sag.

    I cannot tell you the world

    I was once in. It was a

    very dark and cold zone.

    I didn’t really know how to

    carry my aquarian ways without

    losing myself within them.

    I had a sit-down with God earlier.

    We had quite the char. He

    continues to whisper in my

    ears. God doen’t seem to

    like the fact that we

    title God with physical

    titles like “he” or “she”

    (he made that quite clear

    as he yelled into my ear

    with grand prominence)

    God is telling me

    a lot of cool stuff yo.

    I should record myself

    honestly no I shouldn’t

    it would be rather creepy.

    Someone on drugs does not

    have the capacity to handle

    themselves among those who

    have elected sobriety. Reading

    back on this I’m sure

    most will question what God

    told me. God is with each

    and every one of us at all

    seconds of life. To forget

    that God is with us is

    to forget ourselves. Now

    do not take God as any

    titled religion or faith of

    sorts. God is the name

    I know God by.

    There is no

    secret right, the truth is

    always there, we simply

    elect not to follow its path

    at times, which unfortunately

    leads to sinning. We can’t

    seem to wrap our heads

    around the concept of a

    circle, so maybe we should use

    the circle as an

    indicator of God. God

    isn’t there. We all want this

    greater than life-esq being

    to exist, BUT PLEASE TELL

    ME WHAT IS GREATER

    THAN LIFE??? It seems

    we’re all in this constant

    rush to die when there’s

    this fantastic way of

    happiness which is by just

    to live. I hope this

    all makes sense when I

    look back at it.

    AQ! Remember to not let

    yourself down anymore!

    things are lookin’ up dude!

    there’s so much good on the

    way all the time

    I know there was

    that rough patch where you

    didn’t know what the fuck

    was going on. You were

    constantly in fear of

    everything. There is no need

    to be afraid anymore my

    good friend. The tales you

    have to tell come plenty

    and the ears of those

    who wish to listen will

    perk at all times. Your

    physical actions are fun, but

    nothing is more soothing than

    a sweet lay around

    session w/ a love or

    even a sweetheart . . . 😉

    You do not live to impress

    others, you live to be happy

    and if another wishes

    to be happy along with you,

    they can join along.

    Get that smiley face tattoo

    on your ass. You know

    you’re dying to make a

    fool of yourself

    while finding out how it

    feels to get a tattoo:

    If she could hear

    my truest thoughts, she

    would be so happy.

    I’m envious of the mind of

    a girl. It is their

    minds that keep rest some

    of the most dangerous of

    creatures. I am glad there

    are ones like friends who

    keep questions floating

    around. Funny friends, fantastic

    air signs; The Gemini is

    one for the ages to say

    in the very least. One

    and another are cancers

    alike, along with another at

    their finest. Scorpio be it,

    if I could find myself foolish enough to

    recognize that. Leo is the

    lion that is God blessed

    in his heart and may his feet

    take him where his mind

    may not sometimes. Libra

    is the fiery feline at

    present being themselves

    though I may not know

    them well, I know them

    quite well!

    The end of the water

    bearer’s trip –

    Well it seems I have grown

    quite tired and I know I want

    to get up quite soon to entertain

    the Harvest Goddess.

    (which i love to do, though

    most would not deem it so lightly)